Tender Forever never forgets.

Tender Forever is Melanie Valera with likable melodies, a plethora of Casio beats and awkwardly intimate lyrics. Valera, a French citizen of Spanish descent, fits the mold of charming female electro-based musicians singing about the existential meaning of love in context of slices-of-life. Or something like that. I think my favorite parts of the album are when you can hear her accent simply because there’s a certain vulnerability in hearing a person of foreign origin express themselves in a different language. Then again, there seems to be a pattern of said vulnerability in K Records material as of late, specifically last year’s The Blow.

Speaking of…as an artist, Valera will most likely bear a number of Blow-based hits (sort of a pun), and rightfully so, but I don’t think “Wider” is meant to be recreation of “Paper Television,” nor should it thought to be as much. “Wider” is pretty heartfelt and oddly romantic, where there was something brazen and forceful about “Paper Television.” Tender Forever is definitely weirder than The Blow, but you it’s hard to consider weirdness a weakness in something that feels uncomfortably honest.

Featured Song: “Nicer If They Tried” by Tender Forver

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Featured Song: “Wider Too” by Tender Forver

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Featured Video: “How Many” by Tender Forver

I thought that went on the bat.

This billboard from Barbados marks our third international condom ad post (1 see comments & 2.) Looks like we have a new recurring feature.

Source:
Kingsley

I’ll be the first to admit it: I turned my nose up to The Bird and the Bee. I had my reasons, among them their being one of the only playable albums for in-store play during my retail days (you can only play Celtic Woman and Roxette so many times.) I mean, I would recommend it to those upset that we ran out of the Regina Spektor album, but it wasn’t my thing.

Technically, it still isn’t my thing, but I have no choice but to give them props for having Eric Wareheim (of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) direct their video for “Polite Dance Song.”

It has everything almost everything that we never would have thought to ask for, but still inexplicably thoroughly enjoy: old people (including one that looks very familiar), gold sweaters, eye patches, lip gloss and awe-inspiring, slow motion gyrations of the hip variety, not to mention a pretty solid track. Indeed, our preconceived notions just got served.

Remember, this is the man who told a kid that “the reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way” and that “[t]he Declaration was the statement; the Constitution, the instrument,” after he was pwned for having written that “[t]he Constitution guarantees all of us, in a famous phrase, ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’”

Well, this time, he’s fighting for the rights provided to us by the Declaration and/or Constitution, not to mention journalism as a whole:

“There are a lot of people who hate FOX News and they want to hurt us…and if i had allowed this guy to do what he was trying to do, I wouldn’t have been standing up for my network or my camera man.”

It’s almost as if these people who hate FOX News are like terrorists or something. O’Reilly totally had a responsibility to the People’s democratic rights, which means he has an obligation to shove someone who was just standing there. He’s fighting for your freedom, people.

Featured Song: “Relax” by Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies

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Sources:
Bill O’Reilly shoves Obama’s staffer: Unhinged… The Full video! Crooks and Liars
Bill O’Reilly: I Shoved, Cursed Out Obama Staffer To “Uphold The Constitution” Horses Mouth
Despite “excellent question” from a “kid[],” O’Reilly did not acknowledge falsehood in his book Media Matters

Camo on dogs just seem counter intuitive to us.

You might not have known this, but this blog would never have existed if not for the Catholics. Maybe that why we’re wondering about the awkward relationship between Catholics and Huckabee.

Apparently, the Arkansonian presidential hopeful is crossing his fingers that the Catholics will forget that he’s associated with the anti-clerical evangelicals Protestants, but remember he loves to metaphysically hug and squeeze unborn fetuses, not to mention that he likes to talk about other things that Catholics like:

“Catholics were a major source of support for me in Arkansas. And they have been nationally. And it’s not only because of the pro-life and pro-family issues,” he said, refering to his opposition to abortion rights and gay marriage. I certainly believe that Catholics are right about talking about poverty, disease and hunger. Things I talk about … I think a lot of evengelicals have not talked enough about it quite frankly.”

Huckabee might think flattery will get him into the oval office, but the Catholics probably disagree considering the company Huckabee keeps. (By the way, enough with the “Huck Up” jokes. We get it. It’s hilarious; his name rhymes with “fuck.”) While you may think Chuck Norris is offensive, the Catholics have lit a fire under Huckabee’s ass for his aligning himself with evangelical leaders who’ve accused the Church of creating anti-Semitism and practicing paganism and idolatry. (Snap.)

So how does Huckabee defend his love for the Pope?

In short, if I held any animosity toward Catholics, I don’t think Justice Scalia would have ever taken me up on my invitations to go duck hunting.

Obviously, Huckabee only befriends paragons of ethical virtue, which to be honest, the Catholics will eat up because someone really needs to think about the children.

Featured Song: “Kiss Me, Son Of God” by They Might Be Giants

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Sources:
Huckabee seeks Catholic support Reuters
Mike Huckabee’s Anti-Catholic Problem Inside Catholic
INTERVIEW: Governor Huckabee Addresses Anti-Catholicism and Abortion Catholic Online

Paper smiles.

Honest to God, if you’re an independent band releasing an album, please keep a few things in mind:

1) Please have a somewhat distinctive name that I, as a listener, can Google and have a reasonable number of related results.

2) If your music is purposefully minimal in regards to lyrics, please have titles that ease said Google search.

3) If you fail to comply with both suggestions, try to suck, because even I can’t come up with enough adjectives and metaphors to describe how great your album is.

(I’m looking at you, Paper. You with you album, “As As” and its nondescript song names. Do you know how long it took me to track you down?)

Aaron and Adrienne Snow (of Landing) released their first album as Paper last year, released on States Rights Records, somehow flying past our collective radar. It’s a beautiful collection of songs, with whispered, barely there vocals and dreamy melodies that remind us of CAN and/or latter day Eno.

Really, we’d write more, but the search for intelligence on the band wiped us out. You can buy “As As” from States Rights’ Web site while I retreat and compose myself.

Featured Song: “Boy” by Paper

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Featured Song: “Underground” by Paper

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Get real indeed.