D.C., as you should be aware of by now, isn’t just the captial of the United States, but also rampant, apparently unsatisfied sexual libidos.

Besides the Madame incident, The AP says that after complaints were lodged by a single employee, D.C.’s mayor launched an investigation of city workers browse for porn on any of the 10,000 government computers .

Surprise, surprise: nine city district workers were found to have accessed porno more than 19,000 times in 2007 and that 32 other emplyees took their porn hobby to work, frequenting adult sites more than 2,000 times last year. A total of 18 agencies were found to be festering in adulterously digital sin.

Featured Song: “Sexual Healing” by Hot Chip

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Source:
Porn Viewing Runs Amok at DC Agencies ABC News

John Gibson is a pathetic excuse for organic material. We all know this. However, there are some people out in the real world who don’t really know who John Gibson is to begin with. It seems no one is more concious to this fact than Gibson himself, who seems to make career descisions based on how many people he can piss off. He did it with John Stewart once, which I guess might have raised him up a notch or so in the media’s collective concsiousness. But Gibson likes to think big, and what’s bigger right now than Heath Ledger’s untimely death? Besides Gibson’s ego, that is.

The FOX News employee decided to, like all media outlets responsibly did, make a not of Ledger’s death on his program. Reasonable, decent human beings stop there. Johnny Boy didn’t. Think Progress kept track, though, especially as Gibson joked that Legder committed suicide as a result of the economy:

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said…

GIBSON: “Oh my God.”

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

We also know that a FOX News man isn’t a FOX News man without somehow creating a link between human tragedy and the Democrats, though:

GIBSON: Apparently Heath Ledger was suicidal and his friends saw it coming. I think he watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant.

Ugh. The saving grace is that, if we know anything about this world, people car about their movie stars. Ahmadinejad or Chavez, not so much. Offend Hollywood, though, and the people will clamor. Heads will be handed to the masses and we can only hope that Gibson, this sorry excuse for a human being who seems to link success to the demeaning of others’ suffering, will be the first sacrifice.

UPDATE: Gibson’s FOX co-worker, O’Reilly, actually aired a segment about the lack of “anything really egregious” as a result of Ledger’s death.

Featured Song: “I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts” by X

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Sources:
John Gibson Mocks ‘Weirdo’ Heath Ledger’s Death Think Progress
O’Reilly: ‘I really don’t go’ on the Internet Think Progress

Heath, details about your death are still scant but it looks like you took a whole bunch of pills. Bummer. We’re going to miss you, bro.

Actor Heath Ledger Found Dead in NYC, Police Say NBC4
Heath Ledger is Dead TMZ

Not even plummeting world markets and a failing economy can stop the Acadamy Awards from stealing precious air time during America’s morning shows.

The usual categories were announced, as were the usual nominees. You’ve got your Cate Blanchett, Daniel Day-Lewis and Tommy Lee Jones (although we still think he was snubbed for his role in Batman Forever.) You’ve also got your suprises, like Juno and Ellen Page, not to mention a soundtrack that will soon shadow the notorious Garden State soundtrack (read: must have Christmas gift for the Urban Outfitter aficionado in your life).

Of course, they don’t reveal some of the smaller, less notable award catagories during the announcement ceremony, but one did catch our eye on the Acadamy Awards Web site: Eddie Murphy’s Norbit. And while we would bask in the ironic glow of an Oscar win for a Eddie-Murphy-in-a-fat-suit vehicle, it’s for Achievement in makeup and actually up against “La Vie en Rose.” We must admit, though, that Eddie knows a good fat suit when he sees one.

Featured Song: “Confusion” by Electric Light Orchestra

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Fresh of his stint as a negotiator with the FARC, Hugo Chavez tells the world that he uses coca on a regular basis. No, not cocoa. Coca. Think back to your D.A.R.E. class.

There’s speculation about the actual product that he uses, which as far we’re told isn’t cocaine proper, but coca leaf and paste. Both are nontheless illegal in Venezuela. Surely enough to set some alarms off. Right?

Apparently, it didn’t the first time Chavez craved some coca. The Miami Herald also reports that while visiting a kitchen in Caracas, he “suggested using the kitchen’s ovens to bake bread made from a special coca-based flour” and said:

“We could try that here, as part of that effort to de-Satanize a product that our indigenous people have been producing for centuries.”

Most disconcerting quote of the article, though?

”I chew coca every day in the morning…and look how I am.”

And with that, Hugo Chavez just may be 2008’s “Just Say No” campaign.

Featured Song: “Cocaine Socialism” by Pulp

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Source:
Chávez says he chews coca daily Miami Post

Rocking Jews.

I caught Monotonix when they came by Houston a couple of months ago. Having only previously heard that 1) they were from Tel Aviv, 2) heard a handful of their songs and 3) saw pictures of instruments on fire, I pretty much knew that I had to go.

Thank Yahweh that I did. These men can rock. Not only do they assail both your ear drums and sensibilities about rock, but they do it flawlessly. A three-piece stripped to drummer, guitar and vocals, Monotonix play up their blazing percussion and almost classic guitar riffs extremely well. Amazingly, their recorded work comes no where near the ferocity their live show has. They had fire. I repeat: fire. The only dissappointment was the lack of flaming cymbals I noticed in pictures of their shows, but that’s not to say they weren’t resourceful. After diving from the drum kit into the closest trash can, lead singer Ami Shalev pulled out someone’s left over take out in one hand and doused it with lighter fluid with the other while guitarist Yonatan Gat (whose solo material is in extreme contrast to the band’s material) danced around the flames. My pyro tendencies aside, every last person in the crowd became involved in the spectacle Monotonix gave. Whether it was holding the mininal drum kit up in the air for drummer Haggai Fershtman or diving away from Shavlev’s swinging microphone, I think a good time was had by all.

Monotonix is on tour right now, will play SXSW and headlines a gig in Houston on March 17 that has the Fatal Flying Guilloteens on the bill, which promises that the night will be nothing short of testosterone-driven musical insanity that rock legends are made of.

Featured Song: “Body Language” by Monotonix

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Featured Song: “Lowest Dive” by Monotonix

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Rush hour in Milan now includes penis ogling. Larger than life David Beckham sports white briefs in a new ad campaign for Armani underwear, and according to my Madrid morning papers, many are wondering whether his bulge is god-given or the fruit of Photoshop.

It’s as huge as his smirking head, too!

Or, is it?

Forget the soothing effects of breakfast in front of a Tiffany’s window, I know where I would peacefully stare while dunking my croissant into coffee.

Source:
Los calzoncillos de Beckham causan un gran revuelo en Milán 20 Minutos