The rest of this sentence is probably, “not going to work again for a while.”

I’m sure everyone has heard the hype about Todd Hayne’s new film I’m Not There, a fictionalized look at the many incarnations of Bob Dylan. I had high hopes going into it. I dig Bob Dylan and I’d heard and read enough good things about it to expect to be pleased. Probably a lot of you have seen this film. I saw it the other day and came out thinking this: it sucked.

Seriously though, watching this movie was like eating like a shit sandwich after being told it was roast beef. Some of the performances are really good, notably Cate Blanchett and, yeah, okay, Heath Ledger I guess. And I definitely dreamt about fucking Charlotte Gainsbourg, we can pretty much that issue to rest. But man, was this thing stupid. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

He’s on the market, ladies.

If you think I’m sexy, and you want my ‘body politick,’ come on baby let me know, preferably by diplmatic pouch.

Foreign Policy just published the Who’s Who guide for wooing world leaders. We provide you with the list here with our commentary, of course, in italics:

1. Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France
Authority never looked so good.

2. Condoleeza Rice, U.S. Secretary of State
We remember her dominatrix boots fondly.

3. Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck, Dragon King of Bhutan
Make me the Dragon Queen of your medieval kingdom that while charming, will never appear in a Disney movie.

4. Michelle Bachelet, President of Chile
She´s been tortured in life and love.

5. Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela
Communism is the political system for lovers

Attaché yourself to these studs and studettes before the next coup, election, or personal scandal sinks them beyond your clutches.

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The List: World´s Most Eligible Leaders Foreign Policy

10:09 pm - Giuliani loves the American League, that’s the deal with that.

10:08 pm - Ron Paul insists that he’s a Republican.

10:07 pm - Rudy Giuliani says the line-item veto is unconstitutional.

10:06 pm - John McCain will veto everything, my friends.

10:05 pm - Rudy believes in building roads and things. Ron Paul would stop blowing bridges overseas to build bridges in this country and also get the government off our backs.

Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t forget about to read Part II.

9:01 pm - People boo when Giuliani said that criminals and crazy people shouldnt have guns.
8:52 pm - Mitt Romney loooooves killing babies.
8:51 pm - Tancredo is against the immigration of “items” as well as people. No more bad toys from China!
8:48 pm - Anderson Cooper asks Romney the Politico thing: did you expense shit you shouldn’t have? Giuliani says no! I had nothing to do with the handling of these records!
8:46 pm - Governor Romney, care to pander to the people of Iowa? Why yes. Subsidize the shit out of corn, please.
8:43 pm - Grover Norquist sent one in! Will you veto any attempt to raise taxes? Tancredo, yes. Romney, yes. Giuliani, yes. Thompson, yes. McCain, yes. Paul, yes. Hunter, no.

8:42 pm - Ron Paul says that McCain doesn’t know anything about anything and reminds McCain that he’s raising way more money.
8:41 pm - McCain just blamed World War II on Ron Paul.

Read the rest of this entry »

Patchouli has never been attractive. Never.

Just because you can’t wear that fur, ladies (and fashionable gents), doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice style for substance at the picket line. Sayeth the Times Online:

Ever since the sans culottes inadvertently launched a fashion movement of sorts (they had some help from Rousseau, whose treatises on nature and the desirability of muslin helped to crystallise the hot looks for autumn 1792), the pressure has been on revolutionaries to look at least a bit hip while they’re smashing the barricades – as student protesters proved this week when brandishing high street chic and banners in the face of the BNP at the Oxford Union.

Honestly, anyone who can refer to culottes and Rosseuau is worthy of my respect. Anyway. The piece is in obvious reference to the Writers Guild of America strike and the glitterati who manage to make both the issues and their clothes fashionably in. The article goes on to make the somewhat brilliant point that aesthetics have always played a part in fighting the Man:

Wait, you wanted to read the rest? Check after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Jolly Roger’s, Annapolis, Md’s most popular gentlemen’s club, plays host to peace talks.

World leaders must just love to get together. I guess when I think about it, it must be pretty fun, sort of like going to the Oscars or something: the red carpet, a reason to dress up, all those flashing cameras, the booze and the shrimp cocktail. I have a hunch that peace talks, trade negotiations, G8 summits, what have you, all go through lots and lots of shrimp. Anyway, that’s the only explanation for this current Israeli-Palestinian shindig in Annapolis, Md., since its host, George W. Bush, isn’t exactly a guy that makes people think Peace! “Oh yes, George W. Bush, there’s a peace-loving man,” diplomats and dignitaries must be saying to themselves as they dip their prawns into the accompanying sauce, as they tour the United States Naval Academy. “He brings much-needed credibility to this stalled out peace process.”

Deals will be cut after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

You probably haven’t thought about Carson Daly in like eight years, but he just wanted to check in and remind everyone that he’s still a tool. The former MTV main squeeze will be the first the break the Writers Guild picket line and resume production of his massively popular runaway hit of a late night show because, you know, pain killers and cock rings don’t exactly pay for themselves.

Daly, who is not a member of the Writers Guild, will begin taping new episodes of his Burbank-based show this week for airing next week, an NBC spokesperson confirmed Tuesday.

Daly himself is not a writer, nor does he employ any writers. He prefers just to “vibe it out,” an unconventional method to be sure, but one that keeps production costs low.

Said a spokesman for the striking writers, “Carson who?”

Source: “Carson Daly to defy writers strike,” Associated Press