When Karl Rove spoke on AU’s campus at an April drool-fest organized by the College Republicans, he was met by a handful of angry students baring their asses and laying in front of his car. Most of the kids were dragged off by campus security and were mandated 40 hours of community service by the University.

“When I got the JAMS thing, I thought that was ridiculous,” Joel Gardner, one of the mooners, said about the school’s disciplinary actions. “But now I’m like, ‘What the fuck?’”

On Friday, Gardner and the rest of the group were notified by AU’s Dean of Students that the Secret Service has issued warrants for their arrest. Details are scarce because nobody seems to know what the fuck is going on and we couldn’t get the Dean on the phone on a Sunday, but Gardner and presumably all the others are being charged with crossing a police line and disorderly conduct.

“I’m trying to decide whether Monday or Wednesday is a better day to turn myself in,” Gardner said. “I’m not doing it tomorrow. I guess it’ll be Wednesday.”

Update: AU’s Associate Dean of Students Sara Waldran (that might be her name) confirmed that this was all going on but didn’t want “to comment” for the sake of liability student confidentiality. I’ll also say though that she seems very nice. She also wouldn’t comment when I asked if the school had any plans to help defend the mooners. I’m going to go ahead and interpret that one as a resounding, “no.”

Another Update: Josh over at the Eagle Blog suggests I point out that Joel Gardner was, in fact, the lone mooner. The rest of the students who’ve been served with warrants were engaged in the kind of assless protesting that we’re less eager to write about.

Some of the naughty clout behind the ‘g’ word may not be true… nationally, anyway. Ideas of displacement of local residents caused by gentrification doesn’t pan out when compared with census data in many cities. (Poor neighborhoods have high vacancy.) But in DC, the outflux is more than myth.

“So are ‘transitional’ homebuyers guilty of class warfare? It’s easy to talk about the downside of gentrification—high housing prices, evictions, and a creeping nimby-ism that elbows out social services. But there are benefits, too.”

Upside? Inside-the-beltway whiteys are renewing the tax base. It’s also supposedly more environmentally neutral since new low-density developments use more energy than packing more people into urban cores.

But when you live in a city, that clearly pushes people out in exchange for others, we’re just passing on these negatives.

Can anyone think of a way gentrification is beneficial in DC besides bringing us a Target on the Green Line?

Source:
Go Forth and Gentrify? MotherJones

You know that feeling that you should be having fun, but you’re not? When going out makes you feel lonelier than staying in? This Brit chalks it up to the raw fact that ‘clubbing’ is a verb equivalent to ‘sucking.’

“Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they ‘enjoy’ clubbing. They don’t. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.”

Source:
Charlie Brooker: Nightclubs are hell. What’s cool or fun about a thumping, sweaty dungeon full of posing idiots? The Guardian

FOX News host, right wing radio pundit and all-around asshole John “Make More Babies” Gibson showed his cruel, cold, conservative black heart on Friday when he mocked Jon Stewart’s immediate response to 9/11 after asking if “we need another 9-11.”

You can view all of Stewart’s post 9/11 comments here. Meanwhile, Media Matters has the full transcript and audio, but here’s glimpse at Gibson’s and his lackey’s intellectual attack on Stewart:

STEWART: But you know what the view is now?

ANGRY RICH: What is it, Jon?

GIBSON: What is it, Jon?

STEWART: The Statue of Liberty.

GIBSON: Oh! That’s great. I’m — God, I’m touched.

I never knew assholes could get so big. Anyway…

More douchebaggery after the jump.
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Whitey is a bit of a mystery man. With two full albums and a MySpace page, the Briton is primed to take over your local dancefloor.

Having released “The Light At The End of The Tunnel Is A Train” last year, Whitey managed to give us an idea of what his aesthetic is. The best way to describe said aesthetic is music underlined by dark, heavy and complex beats highlighted with a light attitude, mainly though his vocals; this reads pretty stale and broad, but it’s accurate.

The description rings truest with his latest work, “Great Shakes.” You get all of Whitey’s dimensions emphasized at one point or another: the guitarist, the lyricist, the synth-seducer. His second coming is really his strongest. “Great Shakes” has excellent production value and genius melodies, each of which is relatively easy to find in most albums, but rarely both.

Whitey is actually one of the few musically unique acts to recently pop up in the limelight. You know that old commerical: “You got CHOCOLATE in my peanut butter!” “You got PEANUT BUTTER on my chocolate!” Well, substitute “chocolate” for “rock” and “peanut butter” for “electro,” and congratualtions: you’ve got yourself a Whitey.

Featured Song: “Cigarette” by Whitey

Featured Song: “Sweet Words For The Sour” by Whitey

Featured Song: “Wrap It Up” by Whitey

In a pretty useless move, McRove has announced his departure from the White House as of August 31.

Don’t get us wrong; it’s great news. But the outgoing deputy chief of staff left only after he was essentially acquitted of any wrongdoing in the Valerie Plame case and unscathed after the firing of attorney generals, not to mention he’s leaving the mess that is George Bush behind him. Nonetheless, the evil mastermind believes that all will be well with the Bush league:

“Look, he’s a very competitive guy. None of us is indispensable or unreplaceable except (Bush) and Dick Cheney, and they ain’t going anywhere.”

Apparently, no one taught the man-devil to clean up after himself. Or proper grammar.

Featured Song: “Evil (Is Going On)” by Howlin’ Wolf

Our good friend the Liberal Avenger just posted this mind-fuck of a YouTube clip of Dick Cheney talking about the dangers of invading Iraq as he reflects on the Gulf War in a 1994 AEI interview.

Thanks, Dick. Your presience on this issue kept us out of what you call the “quagmire” that would have been a “US occupation” of Iraq for 9 more years… until what must be your the other of your two personalities, the evil one we presume, went ahead and created a “quagmire” that is the “US occupation” of Iraq. Thanks for the wisdom, you evil, terrifyingly evil bastard.