Branded!

If you’re anything like us, that means you’re in the middle of finals and obviously need something to keep you from getting your work done. Luckily, TV Links has the answer. It’s every episode of every television program ever, streaming and on demand. Who need a tv? Nobody, that’s who.

Note how this subtle outfit is enhanced by small touches of neon

We’ve seen it coming for months. From the wacky kids at Misshapes to, well, the wacky kids at The Cobrasnake, it’s been creeping out of our vivid, party-oriented imaginations and onto our clothing. And finally, the New York Times is jumping on the neon bandwagon with this amusing, but thankfully educational, story:

Neon is a chemical element that produces a bright reddish-orange light when charged in a vacuum tube. But in fashion the term encompasses a family of fluorescent colors — basically anything bright enough to have once encouraged the wearing of sunglasses at night.

Thank you New York Times, for this explanation.

Also, just as a little bonus, you may read our full coverage of the Lamé Suspender Swimsuit that is pictured above here. May American Apparel continue to integrate nipples into more and more of its designs.

Where do we start?

Actually, when does it end? David Hasselhoff is a piece of work. He helped so many of us develop our imaginations after he shared thought-provoking screen time with talking cars in the 80s. He helped many males through puberty surrounded himself with an incredibly talented slow-motion-prone, well-endowed female cast in the 90s. Basically, he’s been like a mildy-challenged father figure who disappeared to Gemany for 10 years and reappeared years later to rekindle a stagnant relationship. We try to open our arms, but first you gave us this, and now:

Well, even your well-spoken daughter knows you’re a mess. By the way, did you know your brain is shrinking?

Can we get half price for dead ones?

The Houston Museum of Natural History, a place that all Houstonians know intimately by the time they’re done with the 89th grade, is buying live roaches for the public, 25 cents a pop. Apparently this has something to do with an exhibit they are preparing on roaches and they need some live ones because it wont be disgusting enough if they just use pictures and shit. The museum is trying to get their hands on 1000 of these things, as if they couldn’t just go into any storage room and find twice that many scurrying away from the light as soon as they open the door. If there was some place that paid 25 cents per massive disgusting bug year-round, any dedicated Houstonian could make a gajillion dollars and never have to work again. [Source]

In breaking news, scientists are saying that things that feel good can actually be bad for you.

Healthday (via MSNBC) reports that the more you drink, the smaller your brain gets. That’s right: your vodka tonics are shrinking your brain. The liberal media tells us:

The researchers found that the more alcohol people drank on a regular basis, the smaller their brain volume. People who had more than 14 drinks per week had an average 1.6 percent reduction in brain volume compared with people who never drank.

Dumbed down for the alcholics in the crowd, the 1,839 people who participated were classified as non-drinkers, former drinkers, low drinkers (dranking one to seven drinks a week), moderate drinkers (eight to 14 drinks a week), or high drinkers (more than 14 drinks per week, i.e., the Culture Warrior staff).

Research actually found that brain volume decreased 0.25 percent for every increase in drinking category. News like this make us wish happy hour would be just a little bit lot earlier.

Fire is generally bad for business

It’s easy to read about how a stupid fire accidentally burnt up the building that houses the indoor portion of Eastern Market. But looking at this picture of this man coming to grips with the destruction of the business his family has owned for four generations is heartbreaking. As a cheesemonger, I can say with some limited authority that cheese is not necessarily a profitable business. It may be expensive, but unlike say, an expensive shirt, cheese goes bad. The amount of waste is huge, and to see cheese you really have to love it. I had only been to bowers once, and that was before I started selling cheese, and I could see that they were a tight community and they had fun. I’m sure that the same could be said for every business destroyed in the fire. These people put the emphasis on the customer and were truly a part of DC; much more than any monument. The rebuilding has already begun, but let’s at least recognize what’s been lost. For all that to be ruined is really fucked up.

Does every administration spawn this many tell-all books? And do they usually share one title among all of them?

Sticking with what works

Also, did I mention that my copy of Katherine Harris’ book has a personal note written to me by the author?