My mom emailed me this article from the Arizona Republic [A Truly Great Publication, I assure you!! Coverage of Top Ten Singles Bars in the Valley? YES, PLEASE!!] titled “Misery U: Hook-up culture leaves casualties”. It’s about how hook-ups are bad for college girls’ emotional health, which seems to be a really trendy thing to study right now, especially if you’re the Post’s Laura Sessions Stepp. My friend Rusty at WhyIHateDC has some choice [clever] words on the Unhooked author/Washington Post writer.

Anyway, I’m not going to say mean things about Laura Sessions Stepp because I haven’t read her book [though I hear that she thinks girls should get back in the kitchen. TSK, TSK!]. The reason I’m saying “WTF” after all this is kindof a non-sequitur, but WTF!??? WHY ON EARTH DID MY MOM SEND ME THAT ARTICLE?!? WHAT IS SHE IMPLYING!? MOM, I’m not part of the “hook-up culture”! I identify with the “single-hangouts-with-my-girls” culture! Also, the “nerds-who-are-camped-out-in-the-computer-lab” culture.

Mitt Romney, the only candidate in the race of the Republican presidential nomination endorsed by Culture Warrior, is demonstrating just how committed a conservative he is by putting cash in all the right hands (pun intended). The New York Times, the only other publication that loves Romney as much as we do, has this article about Romney’s spending habits in the weeks before he announced his bid for the White House.

Last December, a foundation controlled by Mr. Romney made contributions of $10,000 to $15,000 to each of three Massachusetts organizations associated with major national conservative groups: the antiabortion Massachusetts Citizens for Life, Massachusetts Citizens for Lower Taxation and the Christian conservative Massachusetts Family Institute.

Mr. Romney and a group of his supporters also contributed a total of about $10,000 to a nonprofit group affiliated with National Review. Over the past two years, he contributed $35,000 to the Federalist Society, an influential network of conservative lawyers. And in December 2005, he contributed $25,000 to the Heritage Foundation, a leading conservative research organization.

Nice try, Mitt. But I’m sure such principled organizations such as these will see right through your ploy and they won’t forget that just a few short years ago, you were a rather liberal Democrat.

The recipients of Mr. Romney’s donations said the money had no influence on them. But some of the groups, notably Citizens for Life and the Family Institute, have turned supportive of Mr. Romney after criticizing him in the past.

Mitt Romney gets them every time! That’s why we’re proud to call him Our Man Mitt.

Sean P. Diddy Combs and Snoop Dogg have overcome their East Coast/West Coast rivalry and will be touring together sometime soon. All I have to say about that is someone is getting pistol-whipped.

“Hi, I’m President Stupid and I’m going to run my administration into the ground.”

Please allow me the pleasure of an explanation. As you may or may not have heard, Congressional Democrats quite unexpectedly produced some nuts and outlined a plan for Iraq withdrawal for - note the date - September 1, 2008. Yes, I bolded it for you to make it easier to understand. The Cut-And-Run-Ocrats are going to time Iraq withdrawal two months before the presidential election so that they will win. Sneaky, right? Oh, but there’s more.

So, President Scratchandsniff the Decider in Chief decidedly intends to veto the withdrawal measure. Of course. In favor of the status quo. two months before the presidential election. Because he’s smart.

Thus! The Democrats get the best possible political outcome. They are going to move to end the war that at this point everyone hates (popular move, election winning move) but then they’re going to be stopped by an jackass president who are this point pretty much everyone hates and thinks is an idiot (stupid move, election losing move). And the Republican nominee (and please jesus oh man do i hope it’s Mitt Romney) is going to be standing around saying “Well this withdrawal plan is flawed but I would talk to Congress to make it work blah blah blah” because President Headuphisass will have exactly no one on his side. So the Dems get to look like leaders without having to bare the responsibility of actual leadaership. Bush is out-inepting the Democrats. In Congress.

Really. There are so many levels here it’s almost too much.

So Bush is going personally to see to it that the Democrats get a double win in 2008! Why, how thoughtful of you, President Shitforbrains! This is your best move since you kept Rummy on until after you lost the last election! This is the kind of politics that gives me a full-on boner. If only they had let President Chim Chim call the shots since day one! It’s like Christmas every single day!

And I’m sure the cost in human life will be negligible on any meaningful scale.

So, Captain America is dead. Who knows for how long, but he’s certainly not alive in the Marvel Universe. I’m not thrilled about it. I mean, here we are, it’s been 66 years, and Marvel hasn’t exactly killed off their Superman, but Cap, well, he was a different breed. He swallowed some weird shit and became really strong so he could smash Nazis. I mean at times he was ridiculous; I have a comic I got for free from the dentist featuring Cap fighting plague monsters or something. But most of the time he was just pure, unadulterated Americana. Killing him off seems too political, or at least awkward. Anyway, the last thing he says is “Sharon…So Pretty…You take my breath.” Very romantic.

Ann “Dino-Cunt” Coulter, who manages to spew unparalleled hate even when her mouth is stuffed full of George Bush’s cock, said this today of her fag-bashing comment about John Edwards:

C’mon, it was a joke. I would never insult gays by suggesting that they are like John Edwards. That would be mean.

Here is out major problem with Ann Coulter: She says stupid shit that is offensive without being funny or making any sense. See, liberals say hateful things about George W. Bush because he’s an idiot who never had to work for anything and also has no intellectual curiosity and also a religious fundamentalist who has driven our country into the ground and ignited unparalleled chaos in the world. That’s why liberals say what they say about Bush, and generally manage to say things that are a.) funny or b.) grounded in reality or c.) both.

Calling John Edwards a faggot is not funny OR grounded in reality. John Edwards is not a homosexual, and there is nothing inherently bad about being a homosexual, and so what Coulter said about Edwards makes absolutely no sense. She incorrectly used a rather contentious epithet.

Anyway, nobody’s really got her back. Today, McCain, Guiliani and Romney all expressed outrage and disgust over what she said, the funniest of those being Romney because out of all of them he’s the most likely to actually be disgusted by comments like these, but the least likely to voice those feelings without political cover since he’s such a calculating fraud of a shell of a human being, which of course makes him our pick for ‘08. And we’re good company! Ann “Godzilla Cunt” Coulter also said today that Romney is her man, too! When it comes to frauds, it takes one to know one!

Here’s our new revelation about the country’s cuntiest right-wing loudmouth, Ann Coulter: she’s actually a 12-year-old boy. At some conservative speaking gig she had the other night, she called John Edwards a faggot… wha? Here’s the quote, from UPI:

“It turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I’m kind of at an impasse — I can’t really talk about Edwards,” she said.

Clearly that’s been a big laugh line for Coulter, cause she’s been using for months since the Isaiah Washington thing. As we know from the Half Hour News Hour, these right wingers aren’t funny, and so it’s no surprise that Ann has a shitty sense of comedic timing. You gotta keep it current, girl. And rehab probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

Anyway, this came exactly one day after Edwards’ Second Life Campaign HQ(?) was vandalized by a photoshopped photograph of Edwards in blackface.

My my, this really is a rather charming side these folks are showing this weekend, is it not?