Could there be any more Nuge-related controversy in a single month?

It appears so. Besides performing at Jeb Bush’s inauguration in early January, Ted Nugent could be proliferating gayness, says Love God’s Way minister Donnie Davies (via CMJ.com).

We direct your heathen eyes to Davis’ C.H.O.P.S. program. Or rather, Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People. The extra “S” seems to only exist through God’s providence and has no apparent meaning. Says Davies:

You are not alone and guess what, God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can’t stay that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we’ll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay.

Note, we think the acronym makes more sense if he just took away the “S.” But God’s will be done, we guess.

Anyway, Minister Davies has compiled a not-so easy to read, un-alphabetical list of musicians we, as God-fearing men and women, should stay the Hell away from.

Do The Strokes do God’s bidding? Does listening to Deerhoof ensure you a place in Beelzebub’s realm? Read more after the jump.
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Sad news, people. Heroine to liberal Texans Molly Ivins was hospitalized today in Austin. The prolific author and award-winning columnist is fighting an on-going case of breast cancer, and the AP tells us she might be able to leave the hospital as soon as Monday. We at CW sure hope so. She only recently started writing again after going on a short hiatus last December.

You can find her most recent column protesting the troop surge here, and her piece on Bush and his common sense deficiency here.

Just remember that our Molly is a fighter:

“Maybe this is false bravado,” she said in the Austin American-Statesman. “In some ways for me, this is like having a manageable disease. It’s like diabetes. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to come get me in the end.”

While dogs know instinctually not to shit where they sleep, the Air Force seems to have no such intrinsic logic. Here’s something I saw on the front page of today’s Wall Street Journal:

The CIA plans to mount the once-secret, 102-foot-long supersonic plane on a pole at its Langley, Va., headquarters in time for the agency’s 60th anniversary in September. The jet chosen for the mission is a particularly well-preserved specimen that has been at the Minnesota Air Guard Museum, next to the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, since 1991

The story is only available online to Subscribers, but it goes like this. The A-12 was acquired and restored through the efforts of James Goodall, a kind of creepy but harmless “plane nut,” who has been enchanted with the jet, precursor to the SR71, since he first saw it 1964. This poor guy really made a titanic effort not only restore and maintain this plane, but obtain it in the first place before it was to be scrapped in 1990.

How shocking that the American military would become involved in a petty, alienating squabble with a group of people that would otherwise take pride in that branch of the military’s achievements. The Air Guard Museum is small, and is staffed entirely by volunteers. They are using the fact that the Museum has no salaried director and is therefore not up to Air Force museum standards to reclaim to plane and gift it to the CIA. There are three other A-12s available in various places around the country, and why the Air Force is determined to take this one back is not clear from the Wall Street Journal article. You’d think that at a time when most people feel the military has its head up its ass, Air Force decision-makers would take a little more care before blundering forth into PR troubles like this one.

A lot of people would be turned off at the Air National Guard Museum in Minnesota; some people would find monumentalizing these various Cold War projects in poor taste. But everyone can relate to a civic labor of love being pissed on by the very institution that gave rise to the undertaking in the first place. And It says something about the state of things when one disfuntional arm of the military would allienate its supporters to honor another, more disfunctional arm.

Street kids in Nairobi storm a caterer’s food tent at the World Social Forum reports the BBC. The ironic kicker: This justice conference bills itself as the counter offensive against the World Economic Forum where capitalists are currently mulling on how to best trade widgets amongst each other in the Swiss megalopolis of Davos. (I hear it’s made entirely of clocks, chocolate and stolen art.)

Previously, the World Social Forum faced protests from slum-dwellers for charging a participation fee. They revoked it. Next, boxed lunches, always the fuel source and usually the only concrete result a conference produces, are snatched away by urchin attendees. This is what happens when you let the fray into your midst. You look all out of touch and whatever. Then, you garner publicity and change yourself. Am I the only person who thinks these street kids should be earning consulting fees?

Davos Participants had this to say on the situation,

“$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”

9:57pm - drunk. not the president, but me. taking a break.

9:49pm - President informs us that if we don’t send 20,000 more troops to Iraq, we’re all going to die, the world is going to end.

9:38pm - Take 1 shot for mention of Osama bin Laden

9:32pm - You all should have taken a shot at Bush’s mention of Global Climate Change.

9:31pm - Bush unveils plan for Flintstones-esque car which will reduce use of gasoline 20% in ten years.

9:28pm - One thing we can all get behind: keeping brown people out of the country.

9:27pm - Cheney farted.

9:19pm - Hillary Clinton is completely unconvinced, and also made of wax.

9:15pm - Charlie Rangell is too old to clap.

9:14pm - Bush has spent two whole minutes now licking the asses of various Democrats.

9:12pm - We’re pretty sure that Bush’s suit is Betsy Johnson.

9:11pm - “We are told that the president is going to have some remarks.”

9:09pm - President Chim Chim arrives, we hope that someone pats him on the back hard enough to knock his eyeballs out.

9:07pm - We can’t help but note that the people on the screen are not George Stephahoweveritsspelled

9:02pm - We all agree that the dresses the Supreme Court justices are wearing are probably Betsy Johnson.

9:01pm - What, do they think time just grows on trees? Laura bush comes in wearing a Liza Manelli skin suit.

8:59pm - We thought Cheney was taking roll, but it turns out its the escort committee… now we know that Dick Cheney must be the one who can read.

8:58pm - Who the fuck is this woman on the screen?

The population of Libya is about 5 million, and of those five million, over a fifth of them are employed by the state in some capacity or another. Libya bills itself as a sort of Socialist kind of country, so this sort of thing is to be expected in a place that, as far as we can tell, doesn’t have a whole lot going for it other than it isn’t on the American hit list anymore. In a move that kind of reminds us of the time our parents told us we either had to get a real job or move out, the Libyan government plans to cut 400,000 people from it’s payrolls. Burn.

Really though, it’s kind of the opposite of that. Because, you know. These people are getting fired. It’s not clear that there are some other economic sectors that can absorb these workers, or what the deal is with that, but it sort of sounds like Libya is expecting an influx of American capital now that the US gov’t has removed its sanctions of the North African nation, and has a medium term plan to raise the standard of living for all Libyans.

So, I guess what we’re trying to say here is this is the kind of result you get from a rogue nation of evil-doers when you leave them the fuck alone instead of decimating their country.

Just a thought.

And what a state our Union is in! Tonight, the Decider in Chief will deliver his State of the Union address, and we can’t think of a better reason to get absolutely plowed. We have armed ourselves especially for the occasion with a Super Bowl XVL minikeg of Coors Light - $10.99 at Tenley Liquor and we suggest you do the same. So, for the benefit of you, our dear readers, we present the Culture Warrior State of the Union Drinking Game. It is played like this:

Every time one of the following words falls like a turd from the lips of the presidential sphincter-face, you may help yourself to a Beer Pong sized helping of malted beverage:

• Freedom
• Terror, Terrorists
• Enemy, Enemies
• Democracy
• Victory
• Energy
• Ethanol

If the president should make mention of one of the following ideas/concepts, have a shot of something more serious:

• Osama bin Laden
• Global Warming
• Stem Cell Research

We’re going to be live-blogging the event starting at about 8:30pm EST, and we’ll keep at it until we’re not sober enough to type. This is going to be good. Especially since Nancy Pelosi will be looking over Bush’s shoulder the whole time in place of the pale, bloated head of Denny Hastert - a little reminder of who’s actually running the show.