Apparently “Do Not Swallow” doesn’t come close to convey the dangers of a new toy being recalled, this time in Australia. The toy, called Bindeez, sound innocent enough: kids can fuse little beads together into different shapes and such by spraying them with water:

But it isn’t all fun and games:

Scientists say the beads contain a chemical that the human body metabolizes into the so-called “date rape” drug gamma hydroxy butyrate. When eaten, the compound — made from common and easily available ingredients — can induce unconsciousness, seizures, drowsiness, coma and death.

This goes way beyond “playing doctor.” So far, the AP reports that at least a 2-year-old boy, a 10-year-old girl and a 19-month-old toddler were receiving medical help after eating the beads.

With all the defective toys coming out of China, we’ve started thinking that this all may be an elaborate attempt at global domination. The only problem is we can’t figure out how this latest toy recall fits into the master plan, and we don’t want to know.

Featured Song: “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe


DOWNLOAD MP3

Source:
Australia pulls ‘date rape’ drug toy Yahoo! News

Adoption or abduction? Here in Spain, the attempted Chadian orphan kidnapping debacle has been the biggest story by far over the last week.

After today, much of the drama has been deflated since most of the Spanish flight crew has been rescued from what looks like the scariest country ever by Papa Sarkozy himself. The hoopla came after a French NGO tried to take 103 kids from Chad to France for adoption using a Spanish flight crew. Probably not to the zealous NGO’s surprise, many of the orphans had family and weren’t orphaned by the Darfur conflict, and even in Chad you can’t airlift people without documents. But what about our self-righteousness and bribe money?

I can’t help being struck by an issue completely untouched by the press: If I were those kids, would I prefer to go to France? This assumes they will actually be adopted by French families and become citizens, but as important as it is to Spaniards to get their citizens home safe, isn’t it important to consider that these uncared for children, whether they are truly orphans or not, may want an out, as well?

“OK” is French for “okay.”

It’s been a busy couple of months for the straight-talking, hard-nosed, pint-sized French president, Nicolas Sarkozy. He hasn’t missed a beat (much to many a Frenchman’s dismay) in laying out some of his new policies. Lately he’s been taking a little criticism from the media for some slightly off-color remarks in a speech given in late July in Senegal:

“The tragedy of Africa is that the African has not fully entered into history … They have never really launched themselves into the future.”

Yikes, Sarko, yikes. Maybe you could have recovered if you had just stopped, but you didn’t:

“The African peasant only knew the eternal renewal of time, marked by the endless repetition of the same gestures and the same words,” he said. “In this realm of fancy … there is neither room for human endeavor nor the idea of progress.”

Sarkozy’s also trying to beef up the waning French economy. A report commissioned by the president stated that they will, in fact, finally begin trying to participate in a globalized economy. There’s talk of strengthening ties with Germany and more strict EU observation on trade deals and blah blah blah – all I know is that, if you’re ever hungry in France, you’ll be hard-pressed to find anything other than a cold cheese sandwich or a dinky Nutella crepe under 8 euros, which is just ridiculous.

But it looks like the most ambitious, idealistic bit of Sarkozy’s vision will be a long time in coming. We wish you luck, cher monsieur.

Featured Song: “Louxor J’adore” by Katerine

Download: “Louxor J’adore” by Katerine

Sources:
Africans still seething over Sarkozy speech Reuters
France maps path through globalisation MSNBC
French looking to shake ‘arrogant’ tag Washington Times

You know that feeling that you should be having fun, but you’re not? When going out makes you feel lonelier than staying in? This Brit chalks it up to the raw fact that ‘clubbing’ is a verb equivalent to ’sucking.’

“Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they ‘enjoy’ clubbing. They don’t. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.”

Source:
Charlie Brooker: Nightclubs are hell. What’s cool or fun about a thumping, sweaty dungeon full of posing idiots? The Guardian

I recently discovered a budding friend of mine knows the “brains” behind purseblog.com. Apparently, this girl blogger pulls down $80k a year while her sole contribution to the world is not-so-witty comments about threading and buckles. So, in the spirit of getting ad revenue to make this site better, here’s a self-evident observation about fashion:

Girl bling is huge, huuuuge in Asia. I saw girls selling produce in dusty towns on the Thai-Burma border sporting diamond playboy bunny logos on chains at the perfect bust-dangling length. While it’s fascinating to pick out foreign fashion amidst the slipstream of global pop culture, we’ve got to step it up, U.S.A.

In the name of patriotism, put some sparkle in your cleavage. For God and Country.

Could there be a second Cold War heating up? It’s saddening to think that the Bush administraion has entered its twilight years because if there is any group of people who could properly rekindle the conflict that laid the foundation for today’s disasterious state of World Affairs, it’s these jackasses.

The BBC is reporting that Vladdy Vlad is none too pleased with US plans to construct a European missile shield, implying that, like the United States, Russia reserves the right to bomb whoever the fuck it wants:

Russian President Vladimir Putin has said a recent ballistic missile test was in answer to US plans to create a defence shield in Central Europe.

Mr Putin said it was a “response to maintain the strategic balance in the world”, in what he called a “new round of the arms race”.

On second thought though, maybe there is no second Cold War brewing. It might be this is the swan song of a would-be dictator coming to the end of his term, nostalgic for times past. In Russia’s new, more ‘democratic’ system, Vladdy can’t hold on to power forever; he has to go through all the trouble of securing a successor, getting him to power, and then ensuring that he continues to differ to Vladdy’s wishes. Siigh… No doubt the US will take the bait though. Just think of all the fun President Thompson could have with terrorism to fight and and arms to prosecute!

Street kids in Nairobi storm a caterer’s food tent at the World Social Forum reports the BBC. The ironic kicker: This justice conference bills itself as the counter offensive against the World Economic Forum where capitalists are currently mulling on how to best trade widgets amongst each other in the Swiss megalopolis of Davos. (I hear it’s made entirely of clocks, chocolate and stolen art.)

Previously, the World Social Forum faced protests from slum-dwellers for charging a participation fee. They revoked it. Next, boxed lunches, always the fuel source and usually the only concrete result a conference produces, are snatched away by urchin attendees. This is what happens when you let the fray into your midst. You look all out of touch and whatever. Then, you garner publicity and change yourself. Am I the only person who thinks these street kids should be earning consulting fees?

Davos Participants had this to say on the situation,

“$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”