Rush hour in Milan now includes penis ogling. Larger than life David Beckham sports white briefs in a new ad campaign for Armani underwear, and according to my Madrid morning papers, many are wondering whether his bulge is god-given or the fruit of Photoshop.

It’s as huge as his smirking head, too!

Or, is it?

Forget the soothing effects of breakfast in front of a Tiffany’s window, I know where I would peacefully stare while dunking my croissant into coffee.

Source:
Los calzoncillos de Beckham causan un gran revuelo en Milán 20 Minutos

I thought that went on the bat.

This billboard from Barbados marks our third international condom ad post (1 see comments & 2.) Looks like we have a new recurring feature.

Source:
Kingsley

So you’re trying to find just the right Christmas present for Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong-il this Christmas? Well we have the perfect gift.

Ready to go off on your shit.

Product Description
Radioactive sample of uranium ore. Useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample sizes vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.

Not exactly what you had in mind? Amazon has plenty of other recommendations, including plenty of anal douches, fresh whole rabbit and the complete fourth season of ‘Smallville.’

Featured Song: “I’m The Bomb” by Electric Six


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Source:
Bought some uranium ore? You’ll need the anal douche, then The Register

He’s on the market, ladies.

If you think I’m sexy, and you want my ‘body politick,’ come on baby let me know, preferably by diplmatic pouch.

Foreign Policy just published the Who’s Who guide for wooing world leaders. We provide you with the list here with our commentary, of course, in italics:

1. Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France
Authority never looked so good.

2. Condoleeza Rice, U.S. Secretary of State
We remember her dominatrix boots fondly.

3. Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck, Dragon King of Bhutan
Make me the Dragon Queen of your medieval kingdom that while charming, will never appear in a Disney movie.

4. Michelle Bachelet, President of Chile
She´s been tortured in life and love.

5. Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela
Communism is the political system for lovers

Attaché yourself to these studs and studettes before the next coup, election, or personal scandal sinks them beyond your clutches.

Featured Song: “Hot Stuff” by The Rolling Stones


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Source:
The List: World´s Most Eligible Leaders Foreign Policy

Patchouli has never been attractive. Never.

Just because you can’t wear that fur, ladies (and fashionable gents), doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice style for substance at the picket line. Sayeth the Times Online:

Ever since the sans culottes inadvertently launched a fashion movement of sorts (they had some help from Rousseau, whose treatises on nature and the desirability of muslin helped to crystallise the hot looks for autumn 1792), the pressure has been on revolutionaries to look at least a bit hip while they’re smashing the barricades – as student protesters proved this week when brandishing high street chic and banners in the face of the BNP at the Oxford Union.

Honestly, anyone who can refer to culottes and Rosseuau is worthy of my respect. Anyway. The piece is in obvious reference to the Writers Guild of America strike and the glitterati who manage to make both the issues and their clothes fashionably in. The article goes on to make the somewhat brilliant point that aesthetics have always played a part in fighting the Man:

Wait, you wanted to read the rest? Check after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

(Editor’s Note: Because we can’t find any decent translated video for this particular story, we offer you a little bit of our multiculturalism with this fully Spanish, Babelfish-free post. We’ve translated it for our gringo friends at the end*.)

Ustedes ya deben saber lo que creemos sobre Hugo Chávez. Pero también sabemos lo que el Rey de España piensa del presidente venezolano después del domingo pasado.

Durante una cumbre de lideres latinoamericanos, el bruto Chávez no supo como callarse la boca durante un discurso de parte del presidente español, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, sobre como conducir una reunión entre países latinoamericanos y tener un discurso respetuoso. Chávez decidió atacar el ex-presidente de España, José Maria Aznar, llamándole fascista, serpiente e inhumano y siguió interrumpiendo a Zapatero, quien defendió a su predecesor como un líder elegido democráticamente, tanto como Chávez (aun algunos de nosotros no necesariamente tenemos mucha fe en elecciones; mira a Bush.). En fin, el mismo Rey Juan Carlos de España se salto de su asiento y le dijo a Chávez que se callara. Muy bien hecho, viejo.

Ahora los Chavistas están llorando que los españoles terminaron pareciendo como oligarcas de siglos antepasados. Ay sí; los quienes piden una pizca de respeto entre representantes internacionales son los incivilizados, pero él quien entra a países extraños demandando locuras e insultando líderes democráticos es él quien tiene razón. Pendejo…

*Translation: Umm, we’ll have two frozen margaritas with salt and some chips and queso.

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Chavez and Castro: two hot pieces of beefcake.

If this doesn’t prove that voting in Venezuela is rigged, we don’t know what else will:

A poll said on Thursday the fifth-most desired man is Chavez, whose large nose, protruding lips, forehead mole and gap in his front teeth are easy fodder for caricature artists in a South American nation obsessed with beauty.

Venezuelan business group Fedecamaras organized the poll, which is odd since Fedecamaras has been hailed as one of the leading forces of the opposition group and black listed as part of the capitalistic oligarchy by the Chavistas.

Let’s put this in context, though. Chavez, who was nicknamed “Goofy” in his military days, was named one of the top five sexiest Venezuelan men. We’re talking about Venezuela, the developing country that in 2000 was named the most vain country in the world and in which 65 percent of Venezuelan women and 47 percent of men said they think about their personal appearance ”all the time.”

Come to think about it, Naomi Campbell did visit Chavez the other day…Better luck next year, Winston Vallenilla. Sixth place doesn’t cut it, you ass-face ugly son of a bitch.

Featured Song: “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart


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Sources:
“Ugly” Chavez among Venezuela’s sexiest men: poll Yahoo! News
Who Is Vainest of All? Venezuela NY Times
Naomi Does Venezuela Michelle Malkin