Thank you, Craigslist, from Mia.

The Supreme Court Clerk of my heart - m4w - 30
Reply to: pers-318677509@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-25, 3:39PM EDT

My words come to you by ‘Writ of Certiorari’ from my heart. I have an ‘Opinion’: You are without a doubt the most perfect girl on the Hill. I look forward to argument days just so I can see your smile and say hello as you pass me in the Courtroom hall. Some days you are in your Clerk uniform tails and some days you are not, but you always look stunning. When I see you across the way during arguments it is hard to concentrate on keeping the record.

Now that this session of Oral arguments is over I am bummed because I never really had the chance to talk with you. So here on Craigslist I am bringing an ‘Appeal’ to take you out to coffee sometime?

On ‘habeas review’, my heart is doing time and you have been found guilty.:0)

C.R.

This is obviously never going to happen. But we wish it would.

D.C.’s such a small city that it feels like you’re always running into someone you know — on the Metro, at the grocery store, and especially at house parties. Thankfully, for all of our inbred social lives, there’s this totally great house just south of downtown where these four guys live, and I know we can party there on weekends.

Lest anyone doubt the newsworthiness (or the hilarity) of The New York Times’ soft feature stories, today’s Home & Garden section is housing a true hidden gem. That’s right: the leaseholders to D.C.’s next hotspot for raging house parties are none other than Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.), Sen. Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.), Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-Mass.) and Rep. George Miller (D-Calif.)

“I love cereal,” Mr. Schumer said, digging into his second bowl of granola, going a long way toward depleting a box that Mr. Miller had just purchased.

Schumer is apparently a rascally but loveable roommate who not only eats all of his roommate’s cereal, but also gets in arguments with them for not making his bed. (Though, to be fair, he got stuck sleeping in the livingroom, which is pretty cheap.) Speaking of cheap, these four Democratic powerhouses are paying only $750 a month each for rent AND they have a cleaning woman and a bountiful supply of Suave dandruff shampoo. Party there? I want to live there.

Seriously, this article should be required reading.