John Gibson is a pathetic excuse for organic material. We all know this. However, there are some people out in the real world who don’t really know who John Gibson is to begin with. It seems no one is more concious to this fact than Gibson himself, who seems to make career descisions based on how many people he can piss off. He did it with John Stewart once, which I guess might have raised him up a notch or so in the media’s collective concsiousness. But Gibson likes to think big, and what’s bigger right now than Heath Ledger’s untimely death? Besides Gibson’s ego, that is.

The FOX News employee decided to, like all media outlets responsibly did, make a not of Ledger’s death on his program. Reasonable, decent human beings stop there. Johnny Boy didn’t. Think Progress kept track, though, especially as Gibson joked that Legder committed suicide as a result of the economy:

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said…

GIBSON: “Oh my God.”

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

We also know that a FOX News man isn’t a FOX News man without somehow creating a link between human tragedy and the Democrats, though:

GIBSON: Apparently Heath Ledger was suicidal and his friends saw it coming. I think he watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant.

Ugh. The saving grace is that, if we know anything about this world, people car about their movie stars. Ahmadinejad or Chavez, not so much. Offend Hollywood, though, and the people will clamor. Heads will be handed to the masses and we can only hope that Gibson, this sorry excuse for a human being who seems to link success to the demeaning of others’ suffering, will be the first sacrifice.

UPDATE: Gibson’s FOX co-worker, O’Reilly, actually aired a segment about the lack of “anything really egregious” as a result of Ledger’s death.

Featured Song: “I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts” by X

DOWNLOAD MP3

Sources:
John Gibson Mocks ‘Weirdo’ Heath Ledger’s Death Think Progress
O’Reilly: ‘I really don’t go’ on the Internet Think Progress

You probably haven’t thought about Carson Daly in like eight years, but he just wanted to check in and remind everyone that he’s still a tool. The former MTV main squeeze will be the first the break the Writers Guild picket line and resume production of his massively popular runaway hit of a late night show because, you know, pain killers and cock rings don’t exactly pay for themselves.

Daly, who is not a member of the Writers Guild, will begin taping new episodes of his Burbank-based show this week for airing next week, an NBC spokesperson confirmed Tuesday.

Daly himself is not a writer, nor does he employ any writers. He prefers just to “vibe it out,” an unconventional method to be sure, but one that keeps production costs low.

Said a spokesman for the striking writers, “Carson who?”

Source: “Carson Daly to defy writers strike,” Associated Press

Branded!

If you’re anything like us, that means you’re in the middle of finals and obviously need something to keep you from getting your work done. Luckily, TV Links has the answer. It’s every episode of every television program ever, streaming and on demand. Who need a tv? Nobody, that’s who.

Last night, a health program hosted by Tom Brokaw being broadcast in Phoenix, Ar. was replaced by hardcore porn, upsetting all the old people who were watching it. The network, an NBC affiliate I guess, said that it was “an act of human sabotage.” We see it more as an intervention of good taste.

Yeah. We’ve got the FOX News beat. We watch it so you don’t have to.

This time around, Murdoch wants you to know that FNC has a sense of humor. They’re not just old white men whose taste when it comes to giggles is limited to old “Birth of a Nation” blooper reels.  That’s right, folks. Vareity tells us that FOX News wants to take humor back to the streets cul de sacs.

What will have you rolling on the floor, beggin for the legalization of euthanasia? Take a look.

Barack Obama has the same initials as “body odor”? And, HA! Obama and Marion Barry are both black! Cut and print, people!

What do the faithful YouTube trolls have to say? We’ll leave you with the voice of the people.

Ropeman:

This makes MADtv look funny.

gyronic:

wow ive seen jay leno bomb jokes better than these.

rfin:

I laughed more at the holocaust, and my grandparents died in that.

They’re surreal, delicate, but gruff. They’re slivers of art direct to your tube. They’re beer commercials.

Great, perhaps the greatest of the great, Documentarian Errol Morris of semi-recent “Fog of War” fame made a massive series of Miller High Life commercials(!!!!) The vignettes are arranged around the American manhood theme.

One of my favorites shows an old man peddling a bike through a snowstorm with a six-pack of Miller clinking in his front basket. The narrator declares, “We don’t need your OPECs.”

Watch the series here.

For some kind of bizarre reason, Hardballer Chris Matthews has had enough of guys with ranches running for president, he just can’t take it anymore and can’t keep silent about it either, dropping an F-bomb on air.

Matthews: ..and I’m so sick of Southern guys with ranches running this country. I want a guy to run for president—-that doesn’t have a f*&king, I’m sorry…a ranch…

Hear the audio over at Crooks and Liars