Heath, details about your death are still scant but it looks like you took a whole bunch of pills. Bummer. We’re going to miss you, bro.
Actor Heath Ledger Found Dead in NYC, Police Say NBC4
Heath Ledger is Dead TMZ
Remember, this is the man who told a kid that “the reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way” and that “[t]he Declaration was the statement; the Constitution, the instrument,” after he was pwned for having written that “[t]he Constitution guarantees all of us, in a famous phrase, ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’”
Well, this time, he’s fighting for the rights provided to us by the Declaration and/or Constitution, not to mention journalism as a whole:
“There are a lot of people who hate FOX News and they want to hurt us…and if i had allowed this guy to do what he was trying to do, I wouldn’t have been standing up for my network or my camera man.”
It’s almost as if these people who hate FOX News are like terrorists or something. O’Reilly totally had a responsibility to the People’s democratic rights, which means he has an obligation to shove someone who was just standing there. He’s fighting for your freedom, people.
Featured Song: “Relax” by Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies
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Sources:
Bill O’Reilly shoves Obama’s staffer: Unhinged… The Full video! Crooks and Liars
Bill O’Reilly: I Shoved, Cursed Out Obama Staffer To “Uphold The Constitution” Horses Mouth
Despite “excellent question” from a “kid[],” O’Reilly did not acknowledge falsehood in his book Media Matters
You might not have known this, but this blog would never have existed if not for the Catholics. Maybe that why we’re wondering about the awkward relationship between Catholics and Huckabee.
Apparently, the Arkansonian presidential hopeful is crossing his fingers that the Catholics will forget that he’s associated with the anti-clerical evangelicals Protestants, but remember he loves to metaphysically hug and squeeze unborn fetuses, not to mention that he likes to talk about other things that Catholics like:
“Catholics were a major source of support for me in Arkansas. And they have been nationally. And it’s not only because of the pro-life and pro-family issues,” he said, refering to his opposition to abortion rights and gay marriage. I certainly believe that Catholics are right about talking about poverty, disease and hunger. Things I talk about … I think a lot of evengelicals have not talked enough about it quite frankly.”
Huckabee might think flattery will get him into the oval office, but the Catholics probably disagree considering the company Huckabee keeps. (By the way, enough with the “Huck Up” jokes. We get it. It’s hilarious; his name rhymes with “fuck.”) While you may think Chuck Norris is offensive, the Catholics have lit a fire under Huckabee’s ass for his aligning himself with evangelical leaders who’ve accused the Church of creating anti-Semitism and practicing paganism and idolatry. (Snap.)
So how does Huckabee defend his love for the Pope?
In short, if I held any animosity toward Catholics, I don’t think Justice Scalia would have ever taken me up on my invitations to go duck hunting.
Obviously, Huckabee only befriends paragons of ethical virtue, which to be honest, the Catholics will eat up because someone really needs to think about the children.
Featured Song: “Kiss Me, Son Of God” by They Might Be Giants
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Sources:
Huckabee seeks Catholic support Reuters
Mike Huckabee’s Anti-Catholic Problem Inside Catholic
INTERVIEW: Governor Huckabee Addresses Anti-Catholicism and Abortion Catholic Online
So Chavez lost the constitutional referendum last night, meaning his attempt to change the Venezuelan constitution for a second time in the last nine years has failed. Just how close was the vote? Just 51 to 49 percent. I wonder what the hell the margin of error is…
Chavez’s concession is the stuff that publicists’ wet dreams are made of. When the OEA is no where to be found (Jimmy? Where are you Jimmy?) and when you’ve managed to lose throes of supporters, what else are you going to do but lose by an almost impossibly narrow margin that the electoral group refused to release on time, despite Chavez’s lackeys going an air and publically saying that things were looking very good? I mean, c’mon. Am I right?
Now the apologists have come out crying that the results should be no surprise because elections and Chavez, who has been in office since 1998, and his presidency have always been legitimate. I’ll concede that there is no conclusive proof that this election was manipulated in any way. Hell, I’ll even go a step further and say that no court of law in Venezuela has found any sort of proof of electoral fraud in the last nine years of Chavez’s presidency. But very similar claims are still made about the 2000 elections.
Amercia has a little more than a year with Bush. We’ve got Chavez till 2013. Wanna trade?
Featured Song: “No Love Lost” by LCD Soundsystem
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Sources:
Venezuela Hands Narrow Defeat to Chávez Plan NY Times
Do Dictators Lose Elections? Huff Po
Fear of Chavez is Fear of Democracy Greg Palast
Previously:
Marrying Up Dept: The World’s Most Eligible Leaders
Dept. of Lost in Translation: King of Spain tells Chavez to shut up
Beer Goggles Dept.: Venezulans vote for Chavez…as fifth sexiest man
In light of the fact that the planet is melting, Congress today has seemingly reached an agreement to raise fuel economy standards to 35 miles per gallon by 2020, a bold display of visionary leadership that took only six months to achieve.
In 2020, we can’t help but think that that gas will cost something like $25 per gallon - a result of the inflation caused by sound economic policy and the fact that oil is only secured through constant, unending war - but hey, your Hummer will get the same mileage as a Civic. Unless Bush vetoes it.
Thanks, Congress! You’re doing a hell of a job.
Source: “Lawmakers set deal on raising fuel efficiency,” New York Times
If you think I’m sexy, and you want my ‘body politick,’ come on baby let me know, preferably by diplmatic pouch.
Foreign Policy just published the Who’s Who guide for wooing world leaders. We provide you with the list here with our commentary, of course, in italics:
1. Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France
Authority never looked so good.
2. Condoleeza Rice, U.S. Secretary of State
We remember her dominatrix boots fondly.
3. Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck, Dragon King of Bhutan
Make me the Dragon Queen of your medieval kingdom that while charming, will never appear in a Disney movie.
4. Michelle Bachelet, President of Chile
She´s been tortured in life and love.
5. Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela
Communism is the political system for lovers
Attaché yourself to these studs and studettes before the next coup, election, or personal scandal sinks them beyond your clutches.
Featured Song: “Hot Stuff” by The Rolling Stones
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Source:
The List: World´s Most Eligible Leaders Foreign Policy
10:09 pm - Giuliani loves the American League, that’s the deal with that.
10:08 pm - Ron Paul insists that he’s a Republican.
10:07 pm - Rudy Giuliani says the line-item veto is unconstitutional.
10:06 pm - John McCain will veto everything, my friends.
10:05 pm - Rudy believes in building roads and things. Ron Paul would stop blowing bridges overseas to build bridges in this country and also get the government off our backs.
