John Gibson is a pathetic excuse for organic material. We all know this. However, there are some people out in the real world who don’t really know who John Gibson is to begin with. It seems no one is more concious to this fact than Gibson himself, who seems to make career descisions based on how many people he can piss off. He did it with John Stewart once, which I guess might have raised him up a notch or so in the media’s collective concsiousness. But Gibson likes to think big, and what’s bigger right now than Heath Ledger’s untimely death? Besides Gibson’s ego, that is.

The FOX News employee decided to, like all media outlets responsibly did, make a not of Ledger’s death on his program. Reasonable, decent human beings stop there. Johnny Boy didn’t. Think Progress kept track, though, especially as Gibson joked that Legder committed suicide as a result of the economy:

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said…

GIBSON: “Oh my God.”

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

We also know that a FOX News man isn’t a FOX News man without somehow creating a link between human tragedy and the Democrats, though:

GIBSON: Apparently Heath Ledger was suicidal and his friends saw it coming. I think he watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant.

Ugh. The saving grace is that, if we know anything about this world, people car about their movie stars. Ahmadinejad or Chavez, not so much. Offend Hollywood, though, and the people will clamor. Heads will be handed to the masses and we can only hope that Gibson, this sorry excuse for a human being who seems to link success to the demeaning of others’ suffering, will be the first sacrifice.

UPDATE: Gibson’s FOX co-worker, O’Reilly, actually aired a segment about the lack of “anything really egregious” as a result of Ledger’s death.

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Sources:
John Gibson Mocks ‘Weirdo’ Heath Ledger’s Death Think Progress
O’Reilly: ‘I really don’t go’ on the Internet Think Progress

Remember, this is the man who told a kid that “the reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way” and that “[t]he Declaration was the statement; the Constitution, the instrument,” after he was pwned for having written that “[t]he Constitution guarantees all of us, in a famous phrase, ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’”

Well, this time, he’s fighting for the rights provided to us by the Declaration and/or Constitution, not to mention journalism as a whole:

“There are a lot of people who hate FOX News and they want to hurt us…and if i had allowed this guy to do what he was trying to do, I wouldn’t have been standing up for my network or my camera man.”

It’s almost as if these people who hate FOX News are like terrorists or something. O’Reilly totally had a responsibility to the People’s democratic rights, which means he has an obligation to shove someone who was just standing there. He’s fighting for your freedom, people.

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Sources:
Bill O’Reilly shoves Obama’s staffer: Unhinged… The Full video! Crooks and Liars
Bill O’Reilly: I Shoved, Cursed Out Obama Staffer To “Uphold The Constitution” Horses Mouth
Despite “excellent question” from a “kid[],” O’Reilly did not acknowledge falsehood in his book Media Matters

O’Reilly’s head seems larger than usual…

We haven’t covered our favorite pundit in a while, mainly because we’re still trying to catch up with Malkin, Coulter and Limbaugh. The whole Harlem fiasco seems so long ago now…

You can’t keep a conservative God-fearing man down, though. Last night, O’Reilly was brave tackled an issue that we didn’t know we should care about. In fact, we still don’t care about it. But he certainly does. During his “Culture War” segment, O’Reilly espoused his typical liberal agenda rhetoric whilst masterfully interjecting pitches for his new children’s book (SPOILER ALERT: A certain headmaster wizard is totally gay. Wait, sorry; wrong book):

We went out random. You know, just, we didn’t do any study — just pulled the kids between 13 and 17 with target audience of my book, and — you know, the kids have no clue. And a lot of them think that they don’t owe the country anything. They’re here, and they’re entitled to everything. Now, I assume this is what is being fed to them in the public school system. Am I wrong?

Sort of. And by sort of, it’s more like completely. But it isn’t a Culture War until the offical scapegoat sacrifice:

I’ve been out of the classroom now for more than 30 years, so I could be wrong. But it seems to me, and the studies indicate, that most teachers — high school and college in the United States — are left-wingers. That they bring in a anti-American viewpoint to the sense that they don’t preach about the nobility of America, they teach about the deficits.

I wish some of my teachers could have imparted some sort of opinion on anything to me. And I don’t count my debate teacher who devoted a class to discuss dreams induced by morphine after his car accident as an opinion. Kids don’t care because they’re kids, not because their teachers are supposedly liberal. Honestly, I can think of at least five more reasons as to why kids behave like kids, most of which are biological. Poppa Bear continues…

…[T]he kids who are loyal and try to be patriotic are geeks — are considered geeks because of it…But the pressure is the cool kids are the ones that don’t like their country.

Really? In my experience, the “cool kids” were upper class, privileged white offspring who listened to Toby Keith and suffered traumatic blows to the head on an athletic field of some sort. I think there was a study.

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Source:
O’Reilly: “[S]tudies indicate … most teachers … bring in a anti-American viewpoint to the sense that they don’t preach about the nobility of America” Media Matters for America

Two awful tastes that never went great together, Michelle Malkin and The O’Reilly Factor have called it quits. Rather, Malkin broke up with O’Reilly, who has a serious thing going on with Geraldo, who totally hates Malkin…It’s probably the nastiest break up since Charlie Sheen and the chick who made out with Neve Campbell in “Wild Things.”

Inside Cable News received an e-mail from Malkin last Friday confirming her divorce from the Murdoch-owned news outlet:

From: “Michelle Malkin”
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2007 23:04:58 -0400
Subject: Re: Michelle no longer on the Factor?
I made the decision to quit appearing on the O’Reilly show in response to the poor handling of the Geraldo Rivera matter (the staged “apology” on The Factor was a complete farce). I won’t go into details, but please know that your support means a lot to me. You can catch me on other Fox News shows and read my daily blog posts and weekly columns at MichelleMalkin.com.

Best,
Michelle

All of this commotion because of a little threat that FOX News host and former journalist (zing) Geraldo Rivera made about Malkin:

Michelle Malkin is the most vile, hateful commentator I’ve ever met in my life. She actually believes that neighbors should start snitching out neighbors, and we should be deporting people. It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in New York. I’d spit on her if I saw her.

Gasp, folks. Gasp indeed. We’re not shocked by the spitting threat, but rather the fact that Geraldo almost sounds sensible. Or at least more sensible than Malkin, although we admit that doesn’t say very much.

Let’s look back, friends, and take a look back at Malkin versus Geraldo tape from July. There’s no spitting, but you can still see Malkin about to pop a blood vessle:

Take care, Michelle. Just because you’re not on O’Reilly anymore doesn’t mean we don’t need content at CW.

Featured Song: “So Long, Farewell” by Sound of Music OST


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Source:
Malkin quits The Factor… Inside Cable News

We here at Culture Warrior have a special, dark place for in our hearts, right next to the clogged aorta. Without Bill, God knows what we would have named this blog. Something really lame like Tubulosity or something. (Editor’s Note: I kid, Greg. I kid.)

But O’Reilly is a relevant person in modern day America. Some would say it’s for his witty retorts (“Shut up!”) and his classy beside manner (“Cut off his mike.”) We at Culture Warrior would like to think that he is as important as he is not because of Rupert Murdoch, but because of the middle eastern delicacy that is the falafel.

This is why we’re waiting with baited breath to see “Mackris v. O’Reilly,” the operatic interpretation of the pundit’s sexual embarrassment case.

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