As you’ve probably picked up by now, we here at Culture Warrior are firmly dedicated to the unfolding drama of Joel Gardner, the merry mooner [aptly titled Assgate- or should it be A$$CATgate!?], not least of all because the spunky lil guy is my very own lil brother!

You see, growing up in our rowdy household, Joel often found it a personal delight [as the resident trouble-maker] to moon various family members, presumably in order to garner a strong reaction and/or test our brotherly love. Thus, it seemed that the Moon Rover Event was an original, signature Joel Gardner kind of reaction in the wake of Karl Rove’s presence.

But was it original? Not so! As the BBC would tell us, it seems that young Mr. Patrick Devine was given a suspended sentence and 200 guinea fine for mooning a Senegalese governor whilst volunteering abroad. While Devine’s cheeky [ha! HA!] actions were more of the prankster variety rather than an act of protest, it’s disappointing to know that it’s all been done. Looks like A$$CAT will have to find some new original protest strategies. I’m sure he’ll have a VERY difficult time with that, eh, little bro?

Featured Song: “You and Me and the Moon” by The Magnetic Fields

Source:
‘Mooning’ teen avoids jail term BBC

Reason Magazine has a post about the 911 “Truth Advocates” who keep infiltrating Barak Obama campaign events. Read the post or don’t, but the discussion of crazy conspiracy theorists in the comments eventually lead to the posting of this video of Buzz Aldrin punching a guy in the face. I thought you should see it.

“You’re the one who said you walked on the moon and you didn’t.”

Here we go with number two. Greg and Josh tackle the big issues: E. Coli, Moonbases, and even Rumsfeld himself. Warrior Cast: fresh for your ears with more music great music. Tune in to find out what cheese is featured on “This Week in Cheese.” We can’t wait. We mean, we can wait, but we won’t.

First Afghanistan. Then Iraq. Now, the White House has unveiled it’s plans to invade the Moon.

NASA announced through CNN that they’re planning to build a permanent moon base as a part of a Bush initiative from 2004. Says America’s Most Trusted News Network:

NASA’s plans for returning people to the moon…includes establishing a permanent outpost that would be used to prepare for a manned trip to Mars.The moon base would be at either the north or south pole of the moon, NASA Deputy Administrator Shana Dale said during a news conference Monday at the Johnson Space Center in Houston.

That’s what we’re fucking talking about. Moon base ‘24, baby we’re going all the way. And here’s something crazy: they believe they can use the moon’s natural resources to sustain the place. Fucking natural resources! On the Moon! You know what these natrual resources are? What theyre going to use to make drinking water, breathable air and rocket fuel to go to Mars? Ice! It’s ice! Who knew that ice was such a valuable resource!

If only we a substance with such magical properties on this planet maybe, just maybe, we could engineer a way to power our civilization before the temperature rises and we are all wiped out.

Featured Music:

Television - “Marquee Moon”