AU students sing koombayah

Joel Gardner, the infamous, notorious Karl Rove mooner who spent 8 hours in a DC jail on Monday has given an interview to MTV news. (We think. For some reason, it’s on the VH1 website. Guess they’re really the same, anyway. Oh, and did we mention that we broke this story?)

Here go some excerpts:

“I got a crazy call from the dean of students telling me they got a bunch of these warrants,” Gardner said. “She was really nice and said I should be careful about traveling out of state, because if I even got a moving violation I could’ve been taken in. She also told me to be careful where I sleep, which is funny because I’ve been sleeping on couches all over D.C.”

And:

“The moon is a terrific form of tomfoolery that is completely forgotten these days,” Gardner said. The act of mooning dates at least back to 1346, during the Battle of Crécy in France, when several hundred French soldiers allegedly exposed their derrieres to British archers.

“You can moon your friends and it can be totally funny, or it can be really sincere, like when you moon Karl Rove,” Gardner added. “There is little response someone can give after that.”

Well, so, that’s that. We also learned something important about journalism from this whole experience. When your friends are arrested for something funny, run their names on your blog even if they ask you not too; otherwise, you’ll end up getting scooped by fucking VH1. And you can take that to the bank.

Source:
Man Who Mooned Karl Rove Speaks: ‘It Was A Very Intimate Moment’ MTV/VH1

Previous Posts:
Karl Rove to spend retirement persecuting AU students who showed him their asses
Assgate Heats Up
Blue Moonin’
Notorious District Six to turn themselves in on Monday
Rove protesters spend 8 hours in jail

The Notorious District Six turned themselves in at 5 am this morning. After a series of bureaucratic fuck ups at MPD headquarters that caused them to be held for 8 hours, each posted $100 bond and was released.

“I hope that counts for our fine,” Joel Gardner, the imfamous Karl Rove mooner said, referring to the outcome of his plea agreement in the face of a disorderly conduct charge. “We might have to pay another $100, plus like $500 each for the lawyer.”

Because this media-savvy bunch turned themselves in on a national holiday, we can’t get ahold of their mugshots until tomorrow. Thanks, dicks.

Previous Posts:
Karl Rove to spend retirement persecuting AU students who showed him their asses
Assgate Heats Up
Blue Moonin’
Notorious District Six to turn themselves in on Monday

Where exactly does one go to turn themselves in to the Secret Service, on a holiday no less? The District Six, the AU students wanted by the Secret Service for disorderly conduct and crossing a police barrier after a Karl Rove speech on the AU campus will turn themselves in Monday, according to Laura Taylor, a spokesperson for the group bringing this week-long ordeal to a totally anti-climactic conclusion.

Thanks to a ‘post and forfeit’ plea deal brokered by attorney Mark Goldstone, arrest records will be wiped and one of the two charges dropped against the students. The six will forfeit their right to a trial and will pay a $100 fine each for crossing a police barrier. There will be no record of the arrest, except of course on the blogs.

Joel “Asscat” Gardner couldn’t be reached for comment, but we imagine he’d say something along the lines of, “Fucking a.”

Featured Song: “I Fought the Law” by The Clash

Previous Posts:
Blue Moonin’
Assgate Heats Up
Karl Rove to spend retirement persecuting students who showed him their asses

Ordinarily, we wouldn’t single a person out, particularly a deceased person, for loving kink gay sex. If anything, we would commend the choice to commit whole-heartedly to something because who can really completely commit themselves to anything these days?

Well, Karl Rove, for one. For 15 years, he has worked only for George W. Bush, taking an arrogant, unaccomplished frat boy and propelling him to the White House to run the most historically significant administration in modern history before resigning just the other day, hopefully to try and avoid some kind of impending prosecution.

Karl didn’t really know his father, a fact that a psychologist might point to as explanation for why he’s so fucking crazy. From what we recall from reading a Rove biography many years ago, the senior Mr. Rove left the family early on in Karl’s life, and according to an article on Boing Boing, to seek something of a higher calling:

Shannon Larratt, founder of the body modification online publication BMEzine, pointed us a few days ago to a first-person essay that a person named Yard[D]og was writing, regarding the adoptive father of Deputy White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove (shown in the image at left). Yard[D]og claims to have been a close personal friend of the now-deceased elder Rove.
About the essay’s contents, Mr. Larratt said:

“Karl Rove’s father was not only gay, but a part of the early body piercing scene and a regular at 70s piercing parties… There are pictures of him on BME.

We don’t intend to deride Mr. Rove’s choice to persue his alternative lifestyle. We would like to note, however, that his choosing hardcore gay sex over his familial responsibilities ended up sticking us with the worst president ever and a disasterous outlook for the future. Thank you, elder Rove, for dooming the country that made it possible for you to wear that cock ring you loved so dearly.

A special thanks to Hawley for emailing us the link.

Featured Song: “Uncorrected Personality Traits” by Robyn Hitchcock

Source:
Essay: I’m the proud owner of Karl Rove’s father’s solid gold cock ring Boing Boing

When Karl Rove spoke on AU’s campus at an April drool-fest organized by the College Republicans, he was met by a handful of angry students baring their asses and laying in front of his car. Most of the kids were dragged off by campus security and were mandated 40 hours of community service by the University.

“When I got the JAMS thing, I thought that was ridiculous,” Joel Gardner, one of the mooners, said about the school’s disciplinary actions. “But now I’m like, ‘What the fuck?’”

On Friday, Gardner and the rest of the group were notified by AU’s Dean of Students that the Secret Service has issued warrants for their arrest. Details are scarce because nobody seems to know what the fuck is going on and we couldn’t get the Dean on the phone on a Sunday, but Gardner and presumably all the others are being charged with crossing a police line and disorderly conduct.

“I’m trying to decide whether Monday or Wednesday is a better day to turn myself in,” Gardner said. “I’m not doing it tomorrow. I guess it’ll be Wednesday.”

Update: AU’s Associate Dean of Students Sara Waldran (that might be her name) confirmed that this was all going on but didn’t want “to comment” for the sake of liability student confidentiality. I’ll also say though that she seems very nice. She also wouldn’t comment when I asked if the school had any plans to help defend the mooners. I’m going to go ahead and interpret that one as a resounding, “no.”

Another Update: Josh over at the Eagle Blog suggests I point out that Joel Gardner was, in fact, the lone mooner. The rest of the students who’ve been served with warrants were engaged in the kind of assless protesting that we’re less eager to write about.

In a pretty useless move, McRove has announced his departure from the White House as of August 31.

Don’t get us wrong; it’s great news. But the outgoing deputy chief of staff left only after he was essentially acquitted of any wrongdoing in the Valerie Plame case and unscathed after the firing of attorney generals, not to mention he’s leaving the mess that is George Bush behind him. Nonetheless, the evil mastermind believes that all will be well with the Bush league:

“Look, he’s a very competitive guy. None of us is indispensable or unreplaceable except (Bush) and Dick Cheney, and they ain’t going anywhere.”

Apparently, no one taught the man-devil to clean up after himself. Or proper grammar.

Featured Song: “Evil (Is Going On)” by Howlin’ Wolf

Karl Rove has an iPhone. I’m jealous but at least he still looks like shit.

Source:
“Karl Rove Uses an iPhone”, Valleywag