We don’t understand why this was even in the paper. And so, since no news is apparently news after all, we find ourselves blogging this non-story anyway. Reports the Washington Post:

Republican congressional leaders decided yesterday not to bring to the floor a bill giving the District a full voting member of the House, dooming the measure’s chances in this legislative session.

Well, glad that’s settled. Now maybe GOP congressional leaders can get back to the task at hand: Packing up their offices and getting the fuck out of the way.

Let us step into the way-back machine, dear readers, and transport ourselves back to Election Day, 2002, the first Congressional election of the post-911 era. The terror attacks had taken place just a little over a year before the vote, and yet, the national unity and good will was gone. Bush and Co. were feening like addicts to get into Iraq, and they needed to recapture the Senate to start the bombs a droppin’.

And so, on Election day 2002, the GOP jammed the Democratic Party’s GOTV and poll ride phone bank in New Hampshire. They took it down for two hours and Republican John Sununu beat Democrat Jean Shaheen by a narrow margain.

The case was settled today. Justice and a cleverly related song after the jump.
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It makes sense that we here at Culture Warrior, while sitting naked at the computer at three in the morning, would stumble across the GOP’s blueprints to take over Manhattan, transforming it from a bastion of liberalism into, you know. Kansas.

Such a gargantuan undertaking requires a plan of proportional magnitude, and East Village GOP has such a plan. Never give up the fight, brave souls. And remember: God is on your side.
Featured Music:

Shakey Bones – I Ain’t Got No Home