Camo on dogs just seem counter intuitive to us.

You might not have known this, but this blog would never have existed if not for the Catholics. Maybe that why we’re wondering about the awkward relationship between Catholics and Huckabee.

Apparently, the Arkansonian presidential hopeful is crossing his fingers that the Catholics will forget that he’s associated with the anti-clerical evangelicals Protestants, but remember he loves to metaphysically hug and squeeze unborn fetuses, not to mention that he likes to talk about other things that Catholics like:

“Catholics were a major source of support for me in Arkansas. And they have been nationally. And it’s not only because of the pro-life and pro-family issues,” he said, refering to his opposition to abortion rights and gay marriage. I certainly believe that Catholics are right about talking about poverty, disease and hunger. Things I talk about … I think a lot of evengelicals have not talked enough about it quite frankly.”

Huckabee might think flattery will get him into the oval office, but the Catholics probably disagree considering the company Huckabee keeps. (By the way, enough with the “Huck Up” jokes. We get it. It’s hilarious; his name rhymes with “fuck.”) While you may think Chuck Norris is offensive, the Catholics have lit a fire under Huckabee’s ass for his aligning himself with evangelical leaders who’ve accused the Church of creating anti-Semitism and practicing paganism and idolatry. (Snap.)

So how does Huckabee defend his love for the Pope?

In short, if I held any animosity toward Catholics, I don’t think Justice Scalia would have ever taken me up on my invitations to go duck hunting.

Obviously, Huckabee only befriends paragons of ethical virtue, which to be honest, the Catholics will eat up because someone really needs to think about the children.

Featured Song: “Kiss Me, Son Of God” by They Might Be Giants

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Sources:
Huckabee seeks Catholic support Reuters
Mike Huckabee’s Anti-Catholic Problem Inside Catholic
INTERVIEW: Governor Huckabee Addresses Anti-Catholicism and Abortion Catholic Online

Here’s my favorite from the batch of Raw Story comments I just moderated:

Suspicions_Confirmed

GOP = Gagging On Penises Good God, America, when is enough, enough? Vote these sick, filthy bastards out of office immediately!

10.15.07 - 8:45 pm
IP: 69.244.219.XXX

No words. Just watch.

Via Stereogum:

“He’s in a wide stance with his Hammer pants down.”

Honestly, give the Daily Show a fucking Grammy.

In a pretty useless move, McRove has announced his departure from the White House as of August 31.

Don’t get us wrong; it’s great news. But the outgoing deputy chief of staff left only after he was essentially acquitted of any wrongdoing in the Valerie Plame case and unscathed after the firing of attorney generals, not to mention he’s leaving the mess that is George Bush behind him. Nonetheless, the evil mastermind believes that all will be well with the Bush league:

“Look, he’s a very competitive guy. None of us is indispensable or unreplaceable except (Bush) and Dick Cheney, and they ain’t going anywhere.”

Apparently, no one taught the man-devil to clean up after himself. Or proper grammar.

Featured Song: “Evil (Is Going On)” by Howlin’ Wolf

In the GOP’s latest effort to scramble the party platform away from public opinion of Bush, the Washington Post is reporting that Bush made the decision to commute I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby’s 30-month prison sentence almost single-handedly. Lone Ranger Bush didn’t even discuss his decision with the Justice Department or even his Republican buddies, who largely wanted a full pardon for Cheney’s chief of staff.

The “Free Scooter” camp is still outraged though. I mean, a commutation is like getting stuck on third base. Why not a fucking home run? One former senator Republican Alan Simpson was quoted asking:

“Why should anyone worry about that? [Bush] gets hammered every day. They don’t think George is doing anything right, so what do you lose?”

Yeah, man. I mean, George is already fucking up, so just let him fuck EVERYTHING up. Basically, the American legal system is to Bush what a room in the Beverly Hill Hotel is to Keith Moon. Still, the most disgusting part (and there are many) of this whole ordeal is the conservative fan base that Bush has regained. The Weekly Standard’s William Kristol said:

“By acting here, he is showing to conservatives the kind of leadership that made conservatives loyal to Bush once and could make them loyal once more,” Kristol said.

Good old Texas conservative leadership, folks: keep your buddies close and fry everyone else. But don’t be too hard on Bush; he’s trying really, really hard to pretend to know what justice really is. After all, just because Scoot is getting out of jail, that doesn’t mean that the judge, jury, prosecutor, defense, media and the rest of America wasted it’s time and money:

“The reputation he gained through his years of public service and professional work in the legal community is forever damaged,” Bush said.

The poor man’s gone through so much already. He’s probably never going to get a job again. Hmm. He’s going to be blacklisted from Washington. No…well, it’s going to really, really suck. Seriously.

Source: Bush Wipes Away Libby’s Prison Sentence [Washington Post]
Source: A Decision Made Largely Alone [Washington Post]

The John McCain running for president today is a completely different John McCain who was running for president yesterday. John had some catching up to on things he’s forgotton to criticize over the past six years:

My friends, we all know the war in Iraq has not gone well…

…When Americans confront a catastrophe, natural or man-made, they have a right to expect basic competence from their government. They won’t accept that firemen and policemen are unable to communicate with each other in an emergency because they don’t have the same radio frequency…

…They won’t accept government’s failure to deliver bottled water to dehydrated babies or rescue the infirm from a hospital with no electricity. They won’t accept substandard care and indifference for our wounded veterans…

Iraq, 911, Katrina… Way to get caught up on world events. Jackass. [LAT, text of speech]

Disaster averted! Congress voted yesterday to save the internment camps where Japanese-Americans were kept during World War II. Says this ABC news lede that is either dripping with irony or rancid with stupidity:

Notorious internment camps where Japanese-Americans were kept behind barbed wire during World War II will be preserved as stark reminders of how the United States turned on some of its citizens in a time of fear.

Yes, we’re certain that these camps are being preserved as a “stark reminder” of a shameful time. Not because, you know, we may want to use them again. Oh, how far we’ve come, America!