Radar Magazine’s October issue hosted the Hype Report starring overly portable dogs, cupcakes and Keira Knightly. CW humbly offers the flip side. Add to the list.

TACOS
Food trends have seized classics like hot dogs and vamped them up with gourmet add-ons. The charm of an eight dollar weiner aside, tacos remain a pure every-man’s meal. The taco is endlessly modifiable without being fussy.

GARY OLDMAN
The Brit who reinvents himself completely for each role like a Spice Girl with an identity crisis. CW is especially delighted by recent supporting roles as the future Commissioner Gordon in ‘Batman Begins’ and Sirius Black in the Harry Potter series. As if playing Sid Vicious and Pontius Pilate weren’t enough to please us.

HELIO
Helio’s ‘Ocean’ offers almost all of the conveniences of an iPhone/Blackberry without looking like a yuppie dick’s must-have. The most useful feature is a GPS locator that pairs with snappy Internet access from the Sprint network. When using Google Maps, you’re actually a blinking blue dot on the screen with step-by-step instructions from where you are. The phone service was originally pitched to the Korean-American market. So, it’s therefore totally inherently good. Insert joke about kimchee and nuclear proliferation.

TIMES NEW ROMAN
Helvetica got an adoring round-of-applause this year with its namesake documentary doing well on the indie circuit. We could say Times New Roman is worthwhile for simply foiling the dominance of Comic Sans, squiggly fonts and the unforgivable Arial. However, not all defaults are bland. Add a high gird to a word typed in Times New Roman and you’ve created a clean anti-statement statement.

HOUSTON
The shadow of Austin hides a gem, albeit an industrial one like a diamond mounted on an oil drill. Edgy without being contrived, Houston also offers a ridiculously diverse and cheap restaurant scene specializing in Tex-Mex and Vietnamese. Music and nightlife in the country’s fourth largest city remain affordable even as the raw size of the diverse population ensures tour stops from wide-ranging national artists. Nicely, Houston* is still a city where you can go out for a night with only a twenty dollar bill and ID in your back pocket.

*One more note, the minority-majority city gives off the feel of a modern Constantinople. A random single strip could host a washateria, noodle shop and ice house side-by-side. Cons: No-zoning laws mean incredible sprawl with no serious mass tran options.

(I ripped off various people for some of these — Jen Turner and Caitlin WhatsHerName)

Drool Fest 2007! Ten military bloggers got a special briefing from the President after his prime-time speech Iraq last week.

In this meeting, Ward Carroll of Military.com said the president seemed more comfortable with his message than on TV. We’re led to believe Bush’s becomes articulate when surrounded by hand-picked pro-Bush and pro-war supporters probably because he can say “Scrabble-ma-jangles” without judgment.

Carrol described the President’s performance in front of the blogger round-table:

“No deer-in-the-headlights stuff here. Truly unwavering and passionate.”

Apparently, the standard for unwavering presidential passion has been boiled down to looking less like a fawn frozen before its slaughter than one usual does.

Facts on the ground notwithstanding, he believes the United States can win the Iraq War. And to be honest, being around him made me believe it at that moment too.”

I would hate for facts to withstand the thrall of the President’s most recent victory pep rally among the loyal.

Source: President Reaches Out to a Friendly Circle in New Media [WaPo]

Oh, Michelle Malkin.

You and your rabid fear mongering about illegal immigration is the only thing that separates you from…well, actually, no other conservative wing nut. In fact, no one really knows who you are, unless they either 1) are a part of the 50 year-old to on-my-death-bed-in-rural-Missisippi-with-my-first-cousin/wife FOX News viewer demographic or 2) they prowl the media for immigrant-hating Filipino media vultures.

Malkin covered the first Spanish-language presidential debates held on Sunday and hosted by Univision, one of two leading Spanish-language networks in the United States. Did she tout the debate as a celebration of multicultural efforts to bridge cultures together in an attempt to promote a basic democratic function and right? Nah. Why do that when you can call it a failure and a joke?

More Malkin love after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

You may have noticed that your ritual frothy coffee drink is more expensive than usual. That’s because the price of coffee beans and milk are way up, which is because the world is about to collapse.

Starbucks drinks are up about 60 cents a piece. That also means all the little guys’ prices are tilting northwards, as well. You probably didn’t notice. People who buy non-fat venti sugar free no-froth cappucinos probably don’t give a jerk about 60 cents.

You ain’t really that fancy. Revert to black coffee.

Source:
I work in a fucking coffee shop, sigh.

Peek-a-boo.

In an effort to shut down the gay rumors, Larry Craig’s children have come out blasting the press for reporting the news about their dad trolling public restrooms. The Republican senator from Idaho apparently sat down with his kids to talk about the birds and the bees, specifically that he doesn’t like other boys’ stingers. Being the good kids that they are, they stand by their dad:

“We’ve known him our whole life. He has been so trustworthy to us, so honest to us, that we believe him,” Michael Craig said.

I mean, if anyone could possibly testify that Craig is a poonanny fan, it’d be the kids resulting from Craig sexing up his lady love. Right?

Well…

Larry Craig adopted Michael and his two siblings after marrying their mother, the former Suzanne Scott, in 1983.

Seriously, though. Their dad totally likes vag.

Featured Song: “Meet Me In The Bathroom” by The Strokes

Source:
Craig’s children believe his assertions that he isn’t gay Associated Press via Houston Chronicle

Previous Entries:
Wide Stance Dept: We wish we could enjoy this more

The Notorious District Six turned themselves in at 5 am this morning. After a series of bureaucratic fuck ups at MPD headquarters that caused them to be held for 8 hours, each posted $100 bond and was released.

“I hope that counts for our fine,” Joel Gardner, the imfamous Karl Rove mooner said, referring to the outcome of his plea agreement in the face of a disorderly conduct charge. “We might have to pay another $100, plus like $500 each for the lawyer.”

Because this media-savvy bunch turned themselves in on a national holiday, we can’t get ahold of their mugshots until tomorrow. Thanks, dicks.

Previous Posts:
Karl Rove to spend retirement persecuting AU students who showed him their asses
Assgate Heats Up
Blue Moonin’
Notorious District Six to turn themselves in on Monday

A Colorado Springs elementary school recently announced a ban on a timeless playground pastime – tag. While not the first school in the country to ax the game, the addition of Discovery Canyon Campus Elementary is indicative of a growing trend: the sissification of America.

When asked about the ban, Assistant Principal Cindy Fesgen claimed that “it causes a lot of conflict on the playground” and an apparent increase in tattletailing:

“Well, I don’t want to be chased, but he won’t stop chasing me, or she won’t stop chasing me.”

The kids are still free to run as long as no one is running in front of them. While the notion of “tag, you’re IT!” is now only a very distant, painful memory for these fortunate elementary students, Discover Canyon is also spearheading a brave new educational model, mainly that:

Because life is fair. And let’s none of us waste our time trying to solve the actual problems surrounding our mediocre-at-best public education system.

Featured Song: “We Are The World” by USA for Africa

Source:
Springs elementary gives tag a timeout