Get real indeed.

Clearly, Mad is preparing an army of 12-year-old boys who will vote Hillary Clinton into a third term as president.

When Chester and I sat down at a table by the dart boards in a dive bar in Houston to write the first Culture Warrior post a year ago, a girl, a stunningly beautiful girl I dated for a couple weeks in high school, happened to be hanging out there too. She took notice of us probably because we were the only dudes in the place lit up by a computer screen during happy hour. We played it cool. “You mean, you don’t bring your computer out to bars,” we asked her coyly, adding, like we’d just thought of it, “when you do out, what do you do?” She laughed, walked away, a beer in each hand, and sat down at a table full of boys.

What we were trying to do was write the kind of site we’d like to read, something that had all the right ideas about all the different shit we like: music, politics, art, sex and whatever, done in such a way all the cool kids would be into it. Naively, we also thought this might be a prosperous adventure as well. Three hundred and sixty-eight days later we find that while this certainly has been emotionally prosperous, we have not made a penny. As far as the cool kids go, yeah, we’ve made an impression on one or two, and regular posts or no, we get fairly consistent traffic . Chester picked up a gig at Houstonist and I picked one up at Wonkette and may or may not soon be editing another such site for a pittance.

The first half of the year was just ramping up, pretty much. Eventually, a few people began paying attention and there were three notable ‘events’ Culture Warrior events, all over the summer. The first was when I said something about John Roberts being dead when, in fact, he was not. This went unnoticed by most of the Universe, but we became target du jour of the conservative wind machine for a couple days. Former prostitute Jessica Cutler drove a lot of traffic to the site a month or so later when she pointed out that I clearly had no idea where the Waldorf Astoria was located when I wrote a post making fun of her*. The third came shortly after moving to New York, when some friends back in DC became in embroiled in Assgate, Karl Rove’s final vindictive act while on the public payroll.

Many lessons have been learned about writing this kind of site in the first year. Since this thing could really have gone any way, we think, all in, this has been a pretty good year for us. Since we also believe in openness and the free-low of ideas, information, and not paying for music, etc, we’re going to share some of the lessons we’ve learned that will make our second year so much better than the first, right after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

We may be a couple of days late, but this is too insane to not at least mention…

There’s very little that we can say about Michael Savage without either erupting in obscene laughter or anger. This guy is as vile as the wingnuts come. Malkin is a pussycat compared to this guy. Case in point: Savage’s October 29 broadcast. Media Matters has the audio and transcript, and it’s a keeper. Let’s read together, now:

“Yee-haw! This is the America — this is the America that those Islamic-fascist, robe-wearing, throwback bums have never seen! Let’s get it on! Let’s bring it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Let’s get it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Wipe Hezbollah out of America! Cut the tentacles of Iran off! Cut the tentacles of that octopus off now! Get every hunter in America armed to the teeth! Throwback bastards! I’m so sick of them! I’m so sick of the brainwashing about Islam and Muslims and the Koran! Shove it! Shove it all! I’m sick of it!”

Mind you, “Everybody’s Dixie” is playing in the backround while Savage goes off the deep end. That and both mentions of Iran’s “tentacles” had us do a double take. It caught us off guard; sorry. Continue:

Page after page after page, and we’re supposed to sit here and listen to this rubbish about a religion of peace, and every day Bush brings in thousands of more of these throwbacks — throwbacks wearing medieval costumes, walking around, spitting on the ground every time they see a Christian, or a Jew, or a so-called infidel. These throwbacks think they’re better than you underneath it all, and 90 percent of them are on welfare. Ninety percent of them come in here, and all they do is breed more bombers. More bombers, and more bombers! And you’re telling me this is a sane country?

Not when Michael Savage is in it, folks.

Sources:
Savage: “Let’s get it on! Let’s bring it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now!” Media Matters
Michael Savage SPEAKS TRUTH TO POWER! The Populist Blog

O’Reilly’s head seems larger than usual…

We haven’t covered our favorite pundit in a while, mainly because we’re still trying to catch up with Malkin, Coulter and Limbaugh. The whole Harlem fiasco seems so long ago now…

You can’t keep a conservative God-fearing man down, though. Last night, O’Reilly was brave tackled an issue that we didn’t know we should care about. In fact, we still don’t care about it. But he certainly does. During his “Culture War” segment, O’Reilly espoused his typical liberal agenda rhetoric whilst masterfully interjecting pitches for his new children’s book (SPOILER ALERT: A certain headmaster wizard is totally gay. Wait, sorry; wrong book):

We went out random. You know, just, we didn’t do any study — just pulled the kids between 13 and 17 with target audience of my book, and — you know, the kids have no clue. And a lot of them think that they don’t owe the country anything. They’re here, and they’re entitled to everything. Now, I assume this is what is being fed to them in the public school system. Am I wrong?

Sort of. And by sort of, it’s more like completely. But it isn’t a Culture War until the offical scapegoat sacrifice:

I’ve been out of the classroom now for more than 30 years, so I could be wrong. But it seems to me, and the studies indicate, that most teachers — high school and college in the United States — are left-wingers. That they bring in a anti-American viewpoint to the sense that they don’t preach about the nobility of America, they teach about the deficits.

I wish some of my teachers could have imparted some sort of opinion on anything to me. And I don’t count my debate teacher who devoted a class to discuss dreams induced by morphine after his car accident as an opinion. Kids don’t care because they’re kids, not because their teachers are supposedly liberal. Honestly, I can think of at least five more reasons as to why kids behave like kids, most of which are biological. Poppa Bear continues…

…[T]he kids who are loyal and try to be patriotic are geeks — are considered geeks because of it…But the pressure is the cool kids are the ones that don’t like their country.

Really? In my experience, the “cool kids” were upper class, privileged white offspring who listened to Toby Keith and suffered traumatic blows to the head on an athletic field of some sort. I think there was a study.

Featured Song: “Announcement” by Otis Redding


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Source:
O’Reilly: “[S]tudies indicate … most teachers … bring in a anti-American viewpoint to the sense that they don’t preach about the nobility of America” Media Matters for America

Here’s my favorite from the batch of Raw Story comments I just moderated:

Suspicions_Confirmed

GOP = Gagging On Penises Good God, America, when is enough, enough? Vote these sick, filthy bastards out of office immediately!

10.15.07 - 8:45 pm
IP: 69.244.219.XXX

Two awful tastes that never went great together, Michelle Malkin and The O’Reilly Factor have called it quits. Rather, Malkin broke up with O’Reilly, who has a serious thing going on with Geraldo, who totally hates Malkin…It’s probably the nastiest break up since Charlie Sheen and the chick who made out with Neve Campbell in “Wild Things.”

Inside Cable News received an e-mail from Malkin last Friday confirming her divorce from the Murdoch-owned news outlet:

From: “Michelle Malkin”
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2007 23:04:58 -0400
Subject: Re: Michelle no longer on the Factor?
I made the decision to quit appearing on the O’Reilly show in response to the poor handling of the Geraldo Rivera matter (the staged “apology” on The Factor was a complete farce). I won’t go into details, but please know that your support means a lot to me. You can catch me on other Fox News shows and read my daily blog posts and weekly columns at MichelleMalkin.com.

Best,
Michelle

All of this commotion because of a little threat that FOX News host and former journalist (zing) Geraldo Rivera made about Malkin:

Michelle Malkin is the most vile, hateful commentator I’ve ever met in my life. She actually believes that neighbors should start snitching out neighbors, and we should be deporting people. It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in New York. I’d spit on her if I saw her.

Gasp, folks. Gasp indeed. We’re not shocked by the spitting threat, but rather the fact that Geraldo almost sounds sensible. Or at least more sensible than Malkin, although we admit that doesn’t say very much.

Let’s look back, friends, and take a look back at Malkin versus Geraldo tape from July. There’s no spitting, but you can still see Malkin about to pop a blood vessle:

Take care, Michelle. Just because you’re not on O’Reilly anymore doesn’t mean we don’t need content at CW.

Featured Song: “So Long, Farewell” by Sound of Music OST


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Source:
Malkin quits The Factor… Inside Cable News