John Gibson is a pathetic excuse for organic material. We all know this. However, there are some people out in the real world who don’t really know who John Gibson is to begin with. It seems no one is more concious to this fact than Gibson himself, who seems to make career descisions based on how many people he can piss off. He did it with John Stewart once, which I guess might have raised him up a notch or so in the media’s collective concsiousness. But Gibson likes to think big, and what’s bigger right now than Heath Ledger’s untimely death? Besides Gibson’s ego, that is.

The FOX News employee decided to, like all media outlets responsibly did, make a not of Ledger’s death on his program. Reasonable, decent human beings stop there. Johnny Boy didn’t. Think Progress kept track, though, especially as Gibson joked that Legder committed suicide as a result of the economy:

GIBSON: Maybe he had a serious position in the market.

TOM SULLIVAN: And possibly today, he looked at the window and said…

GIBSON: “Oh my God.”

SULLIVAN: His name’s not Keith Bledger, right?

GIBSON: He was depressed about yesterday’s downturn in the world stock markets.

We also know that a FOX News man isn’t a FOX News man without somehow creating a link between human tragedy and the Democrats, though:

GIBSON: Apparently Heath Ledger was suicidal and his friends saw it coming. I think he watched the Clinton-Obama debate last night. I think he was an Edwards guy, cause he saw his Edwards guy was just completely irrelevant.

Ugh. The saving grace is that, if we know anything about this world, people car about their movie stars. Ahmadinejad or Chavez, not so much. Offend Hollywood, though, and the people will clamor. Heads will be handed to the masses and we can only hope that Gibson, this sorry excuse for a human being who seems to link success to the demeaning of others’ suffering, will be the first sacrifice.

UPDATE: Gibson’s FOX co-worker, O’Reilly, actually aired a segment about the lack of “anything really egregious” as a result of Ledger’s death.

Featured Song: “I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts” by X

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Sources:
John Gibson Mocks ‘Weirdo’ Heath Ledger’s Death Think Progress
O’Reilly: ‘I really don’t go’ on the Internet Think Progress

Camo on dogs just seem counter intuitive to us.

You might not have known this, but this blog would never have existed if not for the Catholics. Maybe that why we’re wondering about the awkward relationship between Catholics and Huckabee.

Apparently, the Arkansonian presidential hopeful is crossing his fingers that the Catholics will forget that he’s associated with the anti-clerical evangelicals Protestants, but remember he loves to metaphysically hug and squeeze unborn fetuses, not to mention that he likes to talk about other things that Catholics like:

“Catholics were a major source of support for me in Arkansas. And they have been nationally. And it’s not only because of the pro-life and pro-family issues,” he said, refering to his opposition to abortion rights and gay marriage. I certainly believe that Catholics are right about talking about poverty, disease and hunger. Things I talk about … I think a lot of evengelicals have not talked enough about it quite frankly.”

Huckabee might think flattery will get him into the oval office, but the Catholics probably disagree considering the company Huckabee keeps. (By the way, enough with the “Huck Up” jokes. We get it. It’s hilarious; his name rhymes with “fuck.”) While you may think Chuck Norris is offensive, the Catholics have lit a fire under Huckabee’s ass for his aligning himself with evangelical leaders who’ve accused the Church of creating anti-Semitism and practicing paganism and idolatry. (Snap.)

So how does Huckabee defend his love for the Pope?

In short, if I held any animosity toward Catholics, I don’t think Justice Scalia would have ever taken me up on my invitations to go duck hunting.

Obviously, Huckabee only befriends paragons of ethical virtue, which to be honest, the Catholics will eat up because someone really needs to think about the children.

Featured Song: “Kiss Me, Son Of God” by They Might Be Giants

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Sources:
Huckabee seeks Catholic support Reuters
Mike Huckabee’s Anti-Catholic Problem Inside Catholic
INTERVIEW: Governor Huckabee Addresses Anti-Catholicism and Abortion Catholic Online

We may be a couple of days late, but this is too insane to not at least mention…

There’s very little that we can say about Michael Savage without either erupting in obscene laughter or anger. This guy is as vile as the wingnuts come. Malkin is a pussycat compared to this guy. Case in point: Savage’s October 29 broadcast. Media Matters has the audio and transcript, and it’s a keeper. Let’s read together, now:

“Yee-haw! This is the America — this is the America that those Islamic-fascist, robe-wearing, throwback bums have never seen! Let’s get it on! Let’s bring it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Let’s get it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now! Wipe Hezbollah out of America! Cut the tentacles of Iran off! Cut the tentacles of that octopus off now! Get every hunter in America armed to the teeth! Throwback bastards! I’m so sick of them! I’m so sick of the brainwashing about Islam and Muslims and the Koran! Shove it! Shove it all! I’m sick of it!”

Mind you, “Everybody’s Dixie” is playing in the backround while Savage goes off the deep end. That and both mentions of Iran’s “tentacles” had us do a double take. It caught us off guard; sorry. Continue:

Page after page after page, and we’re supposed to sit here and listen to this rubbish about a religion of peace, and every day Bush brings in thousands of more of these throwbacks — throwbacks wearing medieval costumes, walking around, spitting on the ground every time they see a Christian, or a Jew, or a so-called infidel. These throwbacks think they’re better than you underneath it all, and 90 percent of them are on welfare. Ninety percent of them come in here, and all they do is breed more bombers. More bombers, and more bombers! And you’re telling me this is a sane country?

Not when Michael Savage is in it, folks.

Sources:
Savage: “Let’s get it on! Let’s bring it on! Bomb Iran, bring our boys home now!” Media Matters
Michael Savage SPEAKS TRUTH TO POWER! The Populist Blog

The Internet is useful for a variety of things. You can sell your old CDs at eBay, or you can load up on free shit from Craigslist. Let’s face it, our generation’s personal economy and finances are interwoven with the World Wide Web. But there are certainly limits as to what you can do on the Internet, right?

Turns out there aren’t. How do we know this? Go to Help My Baby Live and you will find the story of a couple asking for $50,000 to raise a child or else they have an abortion. $50,000 or the fetus bites it.

It’s quite the plan, though. Think about the target demographic for this ploy. Even though the two proud parents contend that they aren’t pro-life, the obvious aim is to tug the heartstrings of the computer-literate Christian pro-lifers. Seems we’re not the only ones to catch on to this. An anonymous reader wrote:

The beauty of this scam is that Pro Lifers are so emotionally attached to this issue that they would rather take their chances losing a few bucks to a scam then think that it may be possible an asshole like you exists who weighs decisions like abortion on the outcome of an internet fundraiser.

It gets uglier, though. There are a fair share of people who don’t seem to really care for the Web site or its createors. “PENNYDETROIT4″ emphatically wrote:

IF U WANT GO AHEAD ABORT THE BABY GOD WILL JUDGE YOU SOME DAY FOR IT.AND WHEN YOU REALLY WANT A CHILD I PRAY THAT YOU DO NOT GET ONE YOU ARE LOW LIFE IN THIS WORLD MAYBE YOUR TWO MOMS SHOULD HAVE ABORTED YOUSE THEN YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE TRYING TO SCAM MONEY FROM PEOPLE.

Either way, something is working. As of June 28, they’ve raised $12,500, which isn’t too shabby. With 79 days left, the couple, who operate the Web site anonymously, is asking for donations in order to pay for child-rearing:

We’ve crunched some numbers, and we believe that, to really set ourselves up in a good environemnt for the baby, we need $50,000. That’ll give us the down payment on a decent house, get us a car that runs reliably, allow us to save away a little for the baby’s college fund, cover any medical bills (she’s uninsured), and give us a little buffer while she’s not working.

If you’re so inclined, you can check out more of the couple’s hate mail.

Featured Audio: “The Best Baby in the Universe” by Patton Oswalt(NSFW)

What. The. Fuck. Pardon our French, but we just can’t believe that this is real. In fact, we don’t.

Remember Minister Donnie Davies? Well, he’s been making the blog rounds, it seems. It appears that he made his debut at Gawker, then was picked up by various sites, among them CMJ and the Houston Press. We were linked to the supposed Web site for Davies’ band, Evening Service.

So why do we think Love God’s Way is fake?

1) Evening Service as a band name. Postal Service meets Sunday congregation? We think not.

2) The shoddiness of the God Love’s Way Web site. Yes, we know that we’re no bushel of roses here either, but c’mon. I mean, C.H.O.P.S.?

3) The most damaging evidence, we think. While trying to get a copy of Evening Services’ video for “God Hates Fags” up on the blog, we came across curious source code:

topic=videos_comedy

Comedy? We sure hope so. If not, we’ll be praying under our desks that the Flying Spaghetti Monster forgives Donnie Davies and his cohorts.

EDIT: Could Todd Quillen be Donnie Davies? (via Dan Savage’s blog at The Stranger). Probably not, but everyone wants to think so.

Could there be any more Nuge-related controversy in a single month?

It appears so. Besides performing at Jeb Bush’s inauguration in early January, Ted Nugent could be proliferating gayness, says Love God’s Way minister Donnie Davies (via CMJ.com).

We direct your heathen eyes to Davis’ C.H.O.P.S. program. Or rather, Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People. The extra “S” seems to only exist through God’s providence and has no apparent meaning. Says Davies:

You are not alone and guess what, God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can’t stay that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we’ll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay.

Note, we think the acronym makes more sense if he just took away the “S.” But God’s will be done, we guess.

Anyway, Minister Davies has compiled a not-so easy to read, un-alphabetical list of musicians we, as God-fearing men and women, should stay the Hell away from.

Do The Strokes do God’s bidding? Does listening to Deerhoof ensure you a place in Beelzebub’s realm? Read more after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

The world is spinning off its axis because newly elected congressman Keith Ellison wants to be sworn into Congress using a Koran instead of a Bible. You may be saying to yourself, “Man, what kind of statement is this guy trying to make?” The answer is simple. None. He’s a Muslim. He’s the first Muslim ever to be elected to Congress. And since I imagine he takes both being a Muslim and being a Congressman seriously, he wants to be sworn in using a Koran. Can someone explain to me what, exactly, is the big fucking deal?

He should not be allowed to do so — not because of any American hostility to the Koran, but because the act undermines American civilization… Forgive me, but America should not give a hoot what Keith Ellison’s favorite book is. Insofar as a member of Congress taking an oath to serve America and uphold its values is concerned, America is interested in only one book, the Bible. If you are incapable of taking an oath on that book, don’t serve in Congress.

That was Dennis Prager of the American Family Association, whose “ActionAlert,” has been widely quoted despite the fact that the guy has his head inserted completely into his ass. Though we have to say that we admire the tolerance being displayed by the religious right on this one. If I may paraphrase the charming Mr. Pragers point, he is saying that he respects the freedom of religion just so long as we all acknowledge Christianity as being, we guess, better than the others.

We know that we don’t have to point this out to you, as we understand that you are a highly evolved social thinker, but we’re going to go ahead and say it anyway: the Christian right is retarded.

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Elizabeth Cotten - Jesus Lifted Me