Remember, this is the man who told a kid that “the reason the Constitution was forged was to assure new American citizens the right to free life and access to pursue happiness in his or her own way” and that “[t]he Declaration was the statement; the Constitution, the instrument,” after he was pwned for having written that “[t]he Constitution guarantees all of us, in a famous phrase, ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’”

Well, this time, he’s fighting for the rights provided to us by the Declaration and/or Constitution, not to mention journalism as a whole:

“There are a lot of people who hate FOX News and they want to hurt us…and if i had allowed this guy to do what he was trying to do, I wouldn’t have been standing up for my network or my camera man.”

It’s almost as if these people who hate FOX News are like terrorists or something. O’Reilly totally had a responsibility to the People’s democratic rights, which means he has an obligation to shove someone who was just standing there. He’s fighting for your freedom, people.

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Sources:
Bill O’Reilly shoves Obama’s staffer: Unhinged… The Full video! Crooks and Liars
Bill O’Reilly: I Shoved, Cursed Out Obama Staffer To “Uphold The Constitution” Horses Mouth
Despite “excellent question” from a “kid[],” O’Reilly did not acknowledge falsehood in his book Media Matters

Their love will go on.

It looks like the honeymoon is over for U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, according to the New York Times.

Awesomely enough, this news comes only two weeks after our pal Rove resigned, making August the best month ever. Gonzales followed Bush from Texas after serving as his personal attorney, but years of hard work paid off when John Ashcroft announced his resignation in 2004. The first Hispanic attorney general, Fredo was the token Hispanic climed the political ladder only to horribly fall from Republican grace when he seemed to be stuck in a permanent haze whenever he was asked any question actually relevant to his job.

Fare thee well, Fredo. We knew you all too well.

Featured Song: “Goodbye Stranger” by Supertramp

Sources:
“Embattled Attorney General Resigns” NY Times
“Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announces he has resigned” AP via Houston Chronicle

Previous entries:
“Dept. of Too Little, Too Late: Karl Rove avoids having his ass handed to him next year”
“Endgame Dept.:Scapegoat No. 2″
“That’s All She Wrote: Gonzo’s perjury problem”
“We prefer to think of it as a cock slap”

In a pretty useless move, McRove has announced his departure from the White House as of August 31.

Don’t get us wrong; it’s great news. But the outgoing deputy chief of staff left only after he was essentially acquitted of any wrongdoing in the Valerie Plame case and unscathed after the firing of attorney generals, not to mention he’s leaving the mess that is George Bush behind him. Nonetheless, the evil mastermind believes that all will be well with the Bush league:

“Look, he’s a very competitive guy. None of us is indispensable or unreplaceable except (Bush) and Dick Cheney, and they ain’t going anywhere.”

Apparently, no one taught the man-devil to clean up after himself. Or proper grammar.

Featured Song: “Evil (Is Going On)” by Howlin’ Wolf

If you live in the DC Metropolitan Area, please, please, please do yourself a favor and go to Colorado Kitchen (on Colorado Ave at 16th St.) Everything is homemade, from the biscuits to the purple cow– grape soda and ice cream. It’s officially the most relaxed, come through place around. Bonus: never a wait.

Oh, man. What’s the world coming to? What kind of world do we live in when we can’t trust the journalists whose work we never read in newspapers or whose broadcasts we ignore while watching the Heroes marathon on TV?

I mean, what’s this about graduate journalism students at Columbia cheating on their final exams? Editor and Publisher says that about 200 students enrolled in a class titled “Critical Issues in Journalism” have to attend a special session. If they don’t show up, they fail.

While graduate school is likely an option for us Culture Warriors, we find it tough to believe that anyone has to really try to cheat when

[t]he exam was an open-book, take-home exam in which students had 90 minutes to write a few essays.

By the way, a core part of the class dealt with journalism ethics.

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