It’s a odd that I find myself a.) defending Rudy Giuliani and b.) actually advocating for something, especially considering the post directly before this one, but here goes. Here’s a new little video that’s making the viral rounds and may soon even be on TV in Columbia, South Carolina, produced by Gays for Giuliani:

Obviously, comedic irony is not something lost on us here at Culture Warrior and nobody here is a stickler for the politically correct. But in light of the other night’s completely fucking retarded gay debate at which all the Dem Prezzers tried to both support and not support gay rights at the same time, it’s pretty outrageous to see the left produce a hit piece on the only candidate in the race that has unapologetically done the right thing on this issue.

Rudy sure as shit isn’t talking up his gay-friendly record in South Carolina, but it’s not as if there is a single solitary Democrat beyond Dennis Kucinich willing to be honest about this, either. Giuliani is otherwise horrible and I hope to see him lose. But let Mitt Romney or Fred Thompson put this kind of bullshit on the air. They’ll surely rise to the challenge.

Rudy speaks in support of civil unions at a recent campaign stop.

Today, Mr. Rudolph Giuliani, former mayor of New York City, made a brilliant comment about his relationship with the 911 rescue workers:

“I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I’m one of them,” he told reporters at a Los Angeles Dodgers-Cincinnati Reds baseball game.

So many police officers and firefighters owe their lives to the top-notch radio equiptment and other disaster-readiness infrastructure Rudy put in place while he was mayor, officials have nothing to glowing things to say about his take on the 911 aftermath:

“He is such a liar, because the only time he was down there was for photo ops with celebrities, with politicians, with diplomats,” said deputy fire chief Jimmy Riches, who spent months digging for his firefighter son.

“On 9/11 all he did was run. He got that soot on him, and I don’t think he’s taken a shower since.”

And:

Harold Schaitberger, president of the International Association of Fire Fighters, a union that fiercely opposes Giuliani, said he doubted Giuliani misspoke.

“I think he was simply showing what his true character is – a self-absorbed, self-deluded promoter who got caught and is now just simply trying to backtrack,” Schaitberger said.

Yowser. Surprisingly, there is nothing but silence on this one coming for the right side of the blogosphere. Way to know how to pick your battles, guys.

Source: “Giuliani: I Misspoke About Ground Zero,” AP

Three generations of Romneys campaigning in Iowa.
Oh, the smell of fresh grass and budding political dynasties.

The contrast between the Romneys and Giulianis is astounding and overwhelming favor the Mormon horde.

That said, it’s been a bad week for the Giulianis:

• Rudy’s 17 year-old daughter Caroline calls herself a liberal and Barrack supporter on her Facebook profile (since removed.)
• Vanity Fair publishes an extremely negative profile about Judi, wife number three for Rudy
• And I’m sure Rudy’s son Andrew still takes dad’s checks without any sense of affection.

Ultimately, the Mormon is the only Republican candidate with just one wife.

Featured Song: “My Son Calls Another Man Daddy” by Hank Williams

Thompson’s wife looks like his grandaughter. People are creeped out more than usual by this presumptive candidate’s pedophilia marriage. The blogs have noticed, even the New York Times commented awhile ago in an article called “Will Her Face Determine His Fortune?”

That’s why I was shocked to see a recent campaign photo (right, below.) Jeri’s white frock accesorized with a few extra pounds proves someone has convinced Jeri to ditch the virgin-whore look for a more swallowable expensive trophy wife image.

In “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” the author comments that a sweaty male companion’s arm around Holly Golightly’s waist looks wrong, not morally, but aesthetically. True, both Thompsons are guilty of visual crimes, but someone with more taste than the duo combined seems to be decreasing the damages. We thank whoever that is, but beg them to never allow the wearing of political party themed jewelry. Note Jeri’s dangling elephant pendant.

Featured Song: “Elephant Woman” by Blonde Redhead

Looks like Fred Thompson won’t able to appeal to independent voters as a Watergate investigator after all. The Boston Globe has a hard-hitting piece of investigative journalism – they read Thompson’s fucking memoirs, and found this little tidbit:

Thompson tipped off the White House that the committee knew about the taping system and would be making the information public. In his all-but-forgotten Watergate memoir, “At That Point in Time,” Thompson said he acted with “no authority” in divulging the committee’s knowledge of the tapes, which provided the evidence that led to Nixon’s resignation. It was one of many Thompson leaks to the Nixon team, according to a former investigator for Democrats on the committee, Scott Armstrong , who remains upset at Thompson’s actions.

Thompson was minority counsel on the committee investigating Nixon, meaning he was the lawyer for the Republicans.

“Thompson was a mole for the White House,” Armstrong said in an interview. “Fred was working hammer and tong to defeat the investigation of finding out what happened to authorize Watergate and find out what the role of the president was.”

This is shocking a shocking revelation about a guy who supported a full pardon for Scooter Libby and has questioned the findings of the Iraq Study Group.

Thompson gave the White House a heads up about the tapes because, as he said in the book, he didn’t think that a secret taping system that was being run 24/7 in the Oval Office as well as the president’s private office would yield anything incriminating. Thompson admits that he was “totally wrong” about that. We won’t draw conclusions about either his competence of his judgment because we think the fat, ancient, be-cancered actor doesn’t really have a shot in the general anyway.

Source: Not all would put a heroic sheen on Thompson’s Watergate role [Boston Globe]

Mike looks almost like Dubs, if Dubs was a Jew.

There’s a rumor swirling that Bloomberg has been telling people he runs into into on the street that he doesn’t think Obama is up to the task of being president. This seems like a particularly hollow criticism of a presidential candidate – any presidential candidate – because experience doesn’t matter one millionth as much as just having good judgement. President Shit-for-brains is a good example of the former: he’s a total fucking moron and basically no experience governing anything -not only did he get elected president* twice, he didn’t seem to have a lick of trouble using his position to advance his nutcase agenda until he let an entire US city get washed into the sea. Bush’s judgement is legendarily terrible and that’s why he’ll be remembered as the biggest failure of the century. Contrarily, other shitty presidents like Reagan, Carter, Nixon, Johnson all had tons of experience and were all ran the gamet from useless or diasterously damaging. Bad judgement.

This comes a week or so after Bloomberg ended his flimsy affiliation with the Republican party renewing speculation that he’s running for president. I imagine this new comment about Obama is going to add fuel to the fire. But let’s get real here for a second. No way is Bloomberg actually running. The best analysis I’ve heard about what’s going on here came from Ken Rudin on the June 21 episode of It’s All Politics. Ken suggested that Bloomberg just wants to shake things up and get some press which may seem simplistic until you consider that that’s exactly what Al Gore has been doing for like 6 years and he’s sort of had an impact, kind of. I think Bloomberg sees an opportunity to influence an election in an important time without running what would surely be a costly but ultimately losing campaign. He can help shape the candidacies of front-runners from both parties without spending a dime or undergoing much scrutiny, you know, except from people like us.

* If you’re rolling your eyes saying that the first election was stolen please bare in mind that had it not been so obscenely close the Bush camp would have not been able to steal it.

I’m sorry, but why is anyone thinking this guy could be president? It seems to me that the only thing this guy could win is a pie eating contest. And that’s why we’ve decided to post his contribution widget here. Please give Fred millions of dollars.