We’re sorry. It won’t happen again. Well, it will. But we’re still sorry.

Wow. We’ve been gone for quite a while now. We’ve let Hanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year pass us by. Happy all of them to you and yours.

Speaking of the new year, maybe we should resolve to write more posts. We’ve gone through a few changes over the last year, especially in recent months. Greg started new full-time blogging gig at Wonkette (Editor’s Note: Congrats, by the way. Bastard.) Chester became a corporate slave and blogs some over at the Houstonist. Molly is across the Atlantic teaching children the wonders of the English language and lollipop ghosts. Annie’s working hard on her own blog, Eternal Youth, which you should keep checking out.

Not to fear though; we’re doing our best to keep maturity and adult-like responsibility at bay and to revive our hollow promises of constant updating, not for our sake, dear reader, but for yours. We’re even almost finished with our much-delayed best albums of 2007. Almost. Anyway.

Featured Song: “I Apologize” by Hüsker Dü

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Photo by Carlos Lorenzo.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 will appear on the Today Show tomorrow to announce the endorsement, which will boost McCain substantially among crazed, Arab-hating Jews. From Marc Ambinder of the Atlantic:

The endorsement is further evidence of Lieberman’s slow drift to the right in American politics and is bound to generate intense anger among Democrats who support him. But Lieberman and McCain have often walked in lockstep together on the prosecution of the war, have traveled to Iraq together, and have worked together on domestic issues like climate change.

The move will heighten speculation that McCain might ask Lieberman to join his ticket.

I’m not sure there’s a scarier sounding ticket out there, not even the much speculated Tancredo/Grand Wizard ticket currently generating so much buzz in Iowa.

Source:
McCain snags endorsements; Rudy retreats Politico

Featured Song: “Dream Lover” by Bobby Darin


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I’m lifting this directly from Wonkette, but only because it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. We will contribute to disemination of Tom Tancredo’s fanatical racist propaganda, you know, because it’s funny.

Source:
Tancredo Setting New Standards for Racism Wonkette

Condi wears the pants in every relationship.

We’re lagging a little behind on this, but Forbes released their review of The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women late last month. It seems the times really are a-changin’ as most of the American women are getting bumped down the list against their international counterparts. A quick rundown:

Ol’ Condoleezza, once THE most powerful woman in the world, lost her 2006 second-place standing to place fourth. Maybe this is a good thing. And the media maven herself, Oprah, dropped completely off the Top 20 – a major turnaround from her ninth place ribbon in 2005 – to finish at 21. But even though she doesn’t start wars or command armies, Oprah still knows how to get things done better than some of our more prominent policymakers *cough, cough* like Hillary and Nancy Pelosi, numbers 25 and 26, respectively.

Our vote for this year’s biggest loser? Let’s just say she was dumb enough to marry the current president. She was the fourth most powerful woman in 2004 but has since been lost in obscurity to finish at number 60 this year. Hell Laura, even Meredith Vieira (#55) beat you.

Best in show went to Angela Merkel (#1), Chancellor of Germany, for the second year in a row, followed by Wu Yi (#2), Vice premier of China. An honorable mention went to Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf (#100), president of Liberia. We had no idea either.

Featured Song: “Sweet Talkin Woman” by Electric Light Orchestra


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Source:
Special Report: The 100 Most Powerful Women Forbes.com

Friends, the sky’s the limit for our dear friend Fred Thompson. With a campaign so professionally run, Fred will surely bring a much needed jolt to the Republican field, quickly emerging as the front-runner, uniting the GOP behind his common-sense conservative stances and restore a little, you know, whatever, to the White House. This outcome is as inevitable as democracy in Iraq for the following reasons:

Numero uno, less astute political observers might have thought it was best for Fred to enter the field mid-summer, when the buzz surrounding this multi-talented politician/actor was through the roof. But Fred knew not to blow his load too quickly and waited until all the excitement, literally all of it had completely died down - evaporated, one might even say.

Secondly, after making the call to wait it out, Fred has strategically put forth the image that his fledgling campaign was in total shambles. He delayed his announcement date from June something or other to September 6 and spread rumors of clashes among the staff. Clearly this was so his Republican rivals would underestimate him, just as many underestimated George W. Bush in 1999. By falling incredibly short of his fundraising goals, Fred was able to really knock it out of the park on this point.

Now Fred’s in the race and his official announcement will come tomorrow. But he’s not giving it all up just yet, oh no. While many candidates might feel as though they should compete to the fullest once declared, Fred is going to continue to play the tease by skipping tonight’s Republican debate and airing a 30-second tv spot instead.

Well played sir, well played. This is the kind of innovative political strategy that will steamroll the opposition - a direct path to the White House for sure. We here at Culture Warrior encourage you to contribute money to Fred’s war chest, not that he needs it. Indeed, this campaign is going to be worth every penny.

Sources:
For Thompson, delay is costly Wall Street Journal
Thompson has hill to climb, poll suggests Politico
Fred Thompson to Make ‘08 Candidacy Official Next Week Fox News
Thompson’s fundraising is short of goal CBS News
Thompson to skip debate - but will run ad USA Today

Hillary Clinton and Mike Huckabee were both endorsed by the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers today, which the AP explained this way:

Clinton, a New York senator and former first lady, beat out former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards and Ohio U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich for the endorsement. The union only considered candidates that appeared before members during its conference this week at the Walt Disney World Resort.

I mean, whatever.

Featured Song: “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” by Elton John

Source:
Machinists Union Endorses Candidates Associated Press

• With any luck, this weeks Iowa Straw Poll may cut the number of unelectable Republican assholes down to a manageable three or four. [USAT]
• In November, you voted for change. In August, you got a change in the FISA survailence law allowing the president to spy his little tar-filled heart out. Thanks, Congress of accountability! [NYT]
• 10 years in Iraq would mean the death of about 10,000 US soldiers which is exactly what Patraeus is pushing for.[The Hill]
• Hillary is running her campaign just like Bush ran his, meaning that even though nobody likes her she’ll be president for like a million years. [Politico]
• Tom Tancredo hopes his newest pogrom initiative will speak to the tyrant in everyone. [WP]
• Bush speech writer might have been the best since Sorensen if only he hadn’t stolen his material and if the president knew how to speak. [WP]
• Iowa’s Governor (a guy named Chet!) is going to spare us a presidential campaign season that starts in 2007. Wait. What? [Politico]
• Though Barrack Obama may not be “black enough” to be president, he’s probably white enough to be vice president. [WT]