Conservative Jews go gay
Jews have taken a momentary break from starting all the world’s wars to caucus on the plight of those homosexuals among the Chosen People who wish to become rabbis or enter into same-sex unions. Reports the Yeshiva Star-Telegram Washington Post:
A panel of rabbis gave permission Wednesday for same-sex commitment ceremonies and ordination of gays within Conservative Judaism, a wrenching change for a movement that occupies the middle ground between orthodoxy and liberalism in Judaism.
A wrenching change indeed. Not quite as wrenching as, say, bareback anal sex without KY, but, for some, certainly uncomfortable to say the least.
We tried to find a hilarious quote from some frantically infuriated Conservative rabbi, but we couldn’t. They’re all, you know, pretty middle of the road — although one Rabbi did say that he felt the judgment was “outside the pale of acceptable halakhic reasoning.” Zing!
What does this mean for the future of marriage in this, our City on a Hill? As the old saying goes, So go the Jews, So goes America. We may have just made that up.
