Who Doesn’t Love Shrimp Cocktail Dept:
Peace Summit: Yeah, this is really the guy to cut a deal with
Jolly Roger’s, Annapolis, Md’s most popular gentlemen’s club, plays host to peace talks.
World leaders must just love to get together. I guess when I think about it, it must be pretty fun, sort of like going to the Oscars or something: the red carpet, a reason to dress up, all those flashing cameras, the booze and the shrimp cocktail. I have a hunch that peace talks, trade negotiations, G8 summits, what have you, all go through lots and lots of shrimp. Anyway, that’s the only explanation for this current Israeli-Palestinian shindig in Annapolis, Md., since its host, George W. Bush, isn’t exactly a guy that makes people think Peace! “Oh yes, George W. Bush, there’s a peace-loving man,” diplomats and dignitaries must be saying to themselves as they dip their prawns into the accompanying sauce, as they tour the United States Naval Academy. “He brings much-needed credibility to this stalled out peace process.”
Deals will be cut after the jump.
It’s true that for the past few years, since about, oh I don’t know, 2001, the United States hasn’t been too focused on its traditional role of throwing these parties for whoever is running Israel and Yassir Arafat. (Arafat isn’t in attendance this go-round on account of being dead, so Mahmoud Abbas is doing all the wide-smiling on behalf of the Palestinian people. Now, an objective onlooker might say that this is an odd job for any US president, even one who not George Bush, because the US is responsible for heavily arming one of the parties against the other. To this we say, “Israel is a Democracy,” and Palestinians vote for Hamas.) Since he came into office, Bush has really been more about conflict creation over resolution, and with so many wars to blunderously start, who has time for diplomacy? A failed president headed into retirement, that’s who!
But did Syria, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and whoever else is there come all the way to Annapolis just to help Bush out with his legacy problem? They obviously hate this man (er, maybe not the Saudis) and the mess he’s made of the world and also, generally speaking, hate Israel and don’t actually give a shit about the Palestinians. Does that mean they really did just come for the strip clubs and the shrimp?
“The Arabs have come here not because they love the Jews or even the Palestinians,” said an adviser to the Palestinian negotiating team who spoke on condition of anonymity. “They came because they need a strategic alliance with the United States against Iran.”
Oh.
Who could have guessed that they’re not talking about Israel-Palestine at all! How very, well, ironic, that the phrase peace talks would be used for everybody in the region to gather around to discuss just what the fuck they’re going to about Iran now that they’re like the most influential nation, like, on the planet or whatever.
Nicely done, George. For his next trick, the president is going to convene a summit on Global Warming at which he and other leaders will sit around and try and figure out how to get the ice caps to melt a little faster. Oh but hey, at least the Israelis and the Palestinians have agreed to agree on something sometime in the year 2008. Kudos all around!
Source: “Iran Casts Big Shadow on Mideast Talks,” New York Times
