$6 billion GOP-backed Silly String initiative: We’re waiting
When the War on Terror is costing America, oh, around $200 million a day, and 3,154 coalition deaths in Iraq alone, the troops have naturally needed to improvise on the whole “staying alive” thing. The latest technological advancment saving the troops’ lives?
Silly String. Yeah. The same shit you’d spray your little sister in the eyes with when she broke your G.I. Joe after she had him take Barbie out for a night on the town.
The AP says that soldiers have been using the flammable toy to detect invisible trip wires.
Before entering a building, troops squirt the plastic goo, which can shoot strands about 10 to 12 feet, across the room. If it falls to the ground, no trip wires. If it hangs in the air, they know they have a problem.
New Jerseyan (?) Marcelle Shriver has collected about 1,000 cans of Silly String, but while Culture Warrior would have made it a crazy fucking Silly String party, she’s sending them off to Iraq through a private pilot in Kuwait, since the Postal Service refuses to transport such dangerous equipment.
Just how important is Silly String to the War on Terror?
The military is reluctant to talk about the use of Silly String, saying that discussing specific tactics will tip off insurgents.
Holy shit. We guess it’s pretty important. Not only has Silly String been saving lives. In iraq, a whole host of items you’d want to have at a bachelor party mean the difference between living and dying:
Also, soldiers put condoms and rubber bands around their rifle muzzles to keep out sand.
Shriver adds that she knows Silly String will be the means by which she will see her little boy back home:
”If I turn on the TV and see a soldier with a can of this on his vest, that would make this all worth it,” said Shriver…
On a side note, not only does Silly String find trip wires, but it’s a total bitch for the terrorists to get out of their beards. Psychological warfare at its finest.
