Assgate Dept.
Notorious “District Six” to turn themselves in Monday
Where exactly does one go to turn themselves in to the Secret Service, on a
holiday no less? The District Six, the AU students wanted by the Secret Service for disorderly conduct and crossing a police barrier after a Karl Rove speech on the AU campus will turn themselves in Monday, according to Laura Taylor, a spokesperson for the group bringing this week-long ordeal to a totally anti-climactic conclusion.
Thanks to a ‘post and forfeit’ plea deal brokered by attorney Mark Goldstone, arrest records will be wiped and one of the two charges dropped against the students. The six will forfeit their right to a trial and will pay a $100 fine each for crossing a police barrier. There will be no record of the arrest, except of course on the blogs.
Joel “Asscat” Gardner couldn’t be reached for comment, but we imagine he’d say something along the lines of, “Fucking a.”
Featured Song: “I Fought the Law” by The Clash
Previous Posts:
Blue Moonin’
Assgate Heats Up
Karl Rove to spend retirement persecuting students who showed him their asses
