Dept. of the Far Fetched
Exxon has a machine to control the weather
There is a story at the top of the main page of the New York Times right now about how oil prices are going up after the nation’s oil refineries have suffered a record number of problems and setbacks like, you know, fires and explosions and stuff. I didn’t read the article, but allow me to direct your attention to this photograph, its caption reading “A battery of tanks at an oil refinery in Wynnewood, Okla., burned in April after it was struck by lightning.”
The thing I can’t help but notice is that it’s a beautiful day. The kids in the foreground are out with their bikes having a great old time! How could there have been lightening? There is only one explanation for this: oil companies have been granted access to a secret government weapon that creates weather events and they are using it to drive up gas prices. Obviously.
