Things to Do: State of the Union Edition
And what a state our Union is in! Tonight, the Decider in Chief will deliver his State of the Union address, and we can’t think of a better reason to get absolutely plowed. We have armed ourselves especially for the occasion with a Super Bowl XVL minikeg of Coors Light – $10.99 at Tenley Liquor and we suggest you do the same. So, for the benefit of you, our dear readers, we present the Culture Warrior State of the Union Drinking Game. It is played like this:
Every time one of the following words falls like a turd from the lips of the presidential sphincter-face, you may help yourself to a Beer Pong sized helping of malted beverage:
- Freedom
- Terror, Terrorists
- Enemy, Enemies
- Democracy
- Victory
- Energy
- Ethanol
If the president should make mention of one of the following ideas/concepts, have a shot of something more serious:
- Osama bin Laden
- Global Warming
- Stem Cell Research
We’re going to be live-blogging the event starting at about 8:30pm EST, and we’ll keep at it until we’re not sober enough to type. This is going to be good. Especially since Nancy Pelosi will be looking over Bush’s shoulder the whole time in place of the pale, bloated head of Denny Hastert – a little reminder of who’s actually running the show.
