The United States has unveiled its newest plan to stop the international menace that is North Korea’s Kim Jong-il: take away his iPod and TV.

In a move that rivals being sent to our rooms for breaking curfew, The Associated Press reveals that the Bush administration and the United Nations want to block the sale of iPods, plasma televisions and Segway scooters to the diminutive leader’s country.

No joke. Threaten the world with nuclear arms and get your sweet swag taken away.

The article goes on to list some of the choice items:

…the list of proposed luxury sanctions, obtained by The Associated Press, aims to make Kim’s swanky life harder: No more cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles or even personal watercraft, such as Jet Skis.

What? No Tickle Me Elmo Extreme? One of our favorite parts about the story is the various industries’ responses to the ban. Apparently, liquor industry trade group the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States give the government its blessings, and while the Personal Watercraft Industry Association says that it supports the sanctions, the Jet Ski is not a luxury.

“The thousands of Americans and Canadians who build, ship and sell personal watercraft are patriots first,” said Maureen Healey, head of the trade group.

What’s next? Well, we do know a few of Kim’s favorite things:

U.S. intelligence officials who helped produce the Bush administration’s list said Kim prefers Mercedes, BMW and Cadillac cars; Japanese and Harley Davidson motorcycles; Hennessy XO cognac from France and Johnny Walker Scotch whisky; Sony cameras and Japanese air conditioners.

Hey, guys. We have his special edition U2 iPod, but he totally still has that uranium.

Featured Music:

Gang of Four – “Return The Gift”

Posted on Wednesday, November 29th, 2006 at 9:49 am in Gang of Four, News, North Korea, Politics, Uncategorized. Follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.